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New Believer and Lust

im a new believer and currently pregnant as a foot note i am not married and have had sex outside of wed-lock numerous times. now that im reading the bible and trying to grow in my faith i dont know what is the right thing to do. i mean i live with the father of my child my BF who isnt really walking the same path as i am however we both crave passion from eachother is it a sin to act? what does the bible say about having sex outside of wed-lock when you know in your heart you want to marry this guy is it still wrong if we arent married yet?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (20)
  • Well the really devout Christians will slap with all this bs about how it is a sin, but I will tell you no it's not! Don't put so much stock into what others believe God wants you to do! Have you ever heard that song "have a little talk with Jesus"? I believe that whatever happens to us is a plan that God has constructed himself. You were put in your situation because it is going to reap some benefit for you and your family. The only true way to know is to have a little talk with Jesus! Talk to him and ask him what he wants you to do! Then take every sign that you get! Live the best that you can and always have good intentions and God will reward you! Love your baby and your boyfriend to the fullest and God will be right there by your side! Have Fun and don't forget to have that talk!

    Answer by cgonzales542 at 10:09 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • God has forgiven you for your past sins.. so the fact that you had a child out of wed-lock and had sex out of wed-lock was forgiven when you repented (turned away from your sins) and asked God to forgive you. Now, you say you're reading your bible and want to do what's right.. and reading your bible is the best way to determine what God says about it.... the bible is very clear on sex outside of marriage and it says it is a sin. I know it can be hard but if you truly want to obey God and do His will then you will need to decide which is more important. I know of many couples who showed up at church in the same situation as you and had to make a decision....some chose to get married right then, sometimes the girl went home to the guy and said hey, we can't live together and have sex outside of marriage anymore and sometimes it was the guy who said it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • cont. again, i know it won't be easy. And if this guy isn't on the same path as you, then it will probably be even harder. I know this from experience, I was a single mom. I have also been in a relationships with someone who wasn't on the same path as me and I had to decide which was more relationship with Jesus Christ or this man and sex.... well... I chose my relationship with Jesus Christ. I don't know if you're plugged in to a churh but that would be my first suggestion. Also, see if there's a woman's group or a woman's bible study, plug in to that also. and next.. i know it seems easy to come onto cafe mom and seek advice but remember not everyone is wanting the same thing as you (a relationship with Christ and serving God) so I would suggest seeking advice on this from Christians. Read Psalm 1:1 and that will explain why I said to seek advice from other bible believing Christians. Stay Strong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • btw - the first response above said to talk with Jesus... well Jesus is never going to go against His word which is the bible and the bible is very clear.... again it calls it a sin. And again... this is why I'm saying to be sure to seek advice from a bible believing, bible following Christian.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Good advice from the one anon. I would recommend a book called "Not Even A Hint" by Josh Harris. He writes a lot about what the Bible has to say about lust (not just sex).

    Answer by micheledo at 11:00 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Yep, it's still considered a sin.

    That doesn't mean you're a rotten, no good, person when you sin. But it does mean you need to go through a repentance process, which is actually pretty spiritually painful. 2 Corinthians 7:10 talks about that "godly sorrow" as a part of repentance.

    Anyway, if you know you're going to be married, then what's stopping you from applying for your marriage license today?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • If I were you, I would not be seeking advice on how to live your life in these times from a book that was slapped together by a group of men over 1000 years ago.
    But, whatever rocks your boat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • There are some Christian groups on here and also a single mom christian group you might want to check out... that way you can have other Christian women to go to. If i can find the link i'll post it later.

    Answer by bonn777 at 11:40 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Desires happen. They're part of our human make up. However, it doesn't mean we have to give into every single desire/impulse we have.

    Here's a few things you can do: pray, and find other ways of using that energy (yes, sexual desires are a form of energy). Turn to God in prayer, avoid situations of most temptation, join a Bible study or prayer group, do the physical exercise appropriate for pregnancy (like walking), go out with a group of friends, read a book, take up a hobby that doesn't encourage your desires.

    Also, maybe talk to your boyfriend about where this relationship is going. A relationship headed for a LOVING and GENEROUS marriage is good for children and good for oneself.

    But yes, it is sinful to have sex outside of marriage. If you want more information, you can drop me a message.

    Answer by MamaBee07 at 11:49 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • cgonzales542--

    Talking to Jesus IS a good idea, however, this does NOT mean she should continue to sin. God is very clear about that: sexual activity outside of marriage IS sinful...that's NOT something Devout Chrisitians have made up, that's something that has been around for a very long time. Even the Orthodox Jews recognize this (In fact, in the Old Testament they treated these kind of sins very severely. Jesus did away with that kind of severity, but Jesus DID say: "Go and sin NO MORE.").

    We mustn't encourage sin. That makes us a culpable party. Of course, no one is perfect, but that doesn't mean we just give up and say oh means we keep striving towards overcoming our shortcomings and sins.

    God bless.

    Answer by MamaBee07 at 11:53 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

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