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How did you choose the father of your child(ren)?

I kissed a lot of frogs before I met my handsome prince...

I dated a lot of guys, had sex with several, and always used birth control, the one time I thought there might even be a chance the BC didn't work, I used "Plan B" to ensure there was no pregancy. I wanted to make sure I did not get pregnant until I was married to the man I knew for sure would make a great and loyal husband, and a dedicated father.

I read about so many mothers who had careless sex with a man they knew was no good. Women who thought with their hearts instead of their brains.

I chose my husband carefully, I waited until I was 31 to get married, turned town 2 proposals from two different guys in previous years because I just wasn't sure they were the best choice.

I am glad I waited. I have two wonderful daughters and an amazing husband. Our 9th anniversary is in April, together 11 yrs.

How did you choose your child's father?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Um I fell in love, we got married, had 2 children

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:18 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • although that is great for you and a wonderful story, all of our intuitions dont lead us down the right path lol. i slept with plenty of guys and used protection and back up plans. when i was 19 i was in a very serious (so i thought) relationship, we had been on and off for 6 years and since we were older i thought that we would always be together, we talked about marriage and everything then i got careless with the bc pills and got preg.....he hit the highway before the first birthday!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I kissed a few frogs, used BC, met my prince, got married (at 24) and had two kids.  Been married for 21 years.


    Answer by beeky at 11:57 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I realized I wanted to get married and have kids and I only dated guys who wanted the same thing. I went on a lot of dates. I was really forward. I told them straight up, "I'm shopping for a father for my future kids, so if you don't measure up, there is no second date."

    When I met DH he was like, "ME TOO!" We started discussing our must-haves about a life mate immediately. He's also insanely good looking. We worked hard to introduce one another around the families. We share the same religious views, so we prayed very hard together about things and figured out we were perfect for each other.

    Answer by ecodani at 11:58 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • How did I choose? I married him first and then we decided together to expand our family and raise a child together. We met in high school, dated all through college, he supported my efforts when I went on to graduate school, and then when I completed my degrees....we made the decision we were financially ready to take on the responsibility of a child. It was never about not being mentally and emotionally prepared. We both knew we would make good parents. But being able to afford the things we wanted for our child was very different. Like good health care, a safe home, a good neighborhood, clothes, ect... Love was not enough. Love didn't pay the bills or put food on the table.


    Answer by frogdawg at 12:14 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Aww Im so happy for you!!! You sound so in love.

    My husband was very different. He was ambitious and came from a close family. I admired all of that. I thought with my heart all the time so I know what you mean and never intended to have a baby and never did. I eventually used my brains and also turned down 2 previous engagements before meeting my hubby. Now, we have 3 kids and have been married 9 years.

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 12:15 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I gave him sex because I needed a boyfriend. I was naive.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I do wonder how many times women actually see the warning signs and ignore them because they are either "desperate" (for lack of a better word), "naive" as one poster put it, or they really think he is going to change when he has a child (which I guess falls in the "naive" category).

    I just wish more women would take the time to get to know the man they have unprotected sex with. I know birth control is not 100% effective, but I *KNOW* the ratios of unwed mothers with multiple fathers for their multiple children are MUCH higher than the effective rate of the "failed" birth control they claim happened.

    It just makes me sad to know there are so many women out there who have such low self-worth that they are not strong enough, nor do they think they are worthy enough to hold out for a better choice for their baby's father. It wasn't easy for me to make all the "right" decisions, but somehow I did.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

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