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If you are supposed to discipline an ADHD child instantly after bad bedhavior, how do you discipline for bad behavior at school?

In my reading it stresses the importance of disciplining right after the behavior so the child can understand why they are being punished, but if the child isn't behaving at school how can you dicipline at home for behavior that happened hours earlier while at school? Or do you let the school handle that? At our school there is a color chart so the kids come home with a certain color that represents how they did that day...we have in the past had certain consequences depending on what color our child has each day...does this sound like a good idea? any other ideas out there? Thanks!! (my child is 7 years old)

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Feb. 22, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (4)
  • This goes for any child, not just a child with ADHD.
    The teachers should be putting through the diciplin at school. That's their job if a child misbehaves while in the classroom.
    After the child gets home, the most you can do is talk to them about it. Unless it's reaccuring, then you take their favorite toys/electronics away, ground them, or do some sort of long term punishment.

    Just as you would any child.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:53 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • With my son who was diagnosed ADHD, I did enforce consequences after school, but what I found worked better was rewards. We had a sticker system. For each day he brought home a smiley face (his 2nd grade teacher's system) he got a sticker for his chart. When he filled a row of 5 stickers (didn't have to be consecutive), he got a reward. I made him a bracelet with colored beads that were removable. Every time he got a sticker we put a bead on the bracelet. He wore it to remind him at school that if he got through the day he got a sticker.

    When he got home from school every day we had a ritual that we sat down & had a snack & talked about his day. I'd ask what the best part of his day was, what the hardest part was, then we'd talk about the choices he might have made differently. We'd always end the conversation with me letting him know how much I love him, how glad I am that he's my son & that I had confidence in him.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:04 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • The information you're reading is outdated human-training based on Skinner's behaviourism. It works in the short term (and by 'works' I mean 'seems to diminish the immediate repetition of behaviour' as opposed to 'actually teaches the trainee anything effective, or stops problematic behaviours in the long run...')

    More than outdated, it's been discredited. It does not work. Or, rather, it works in completely the opposite way it's supposed to work. Punishment and rewards create a psychological problem called Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It's only a 'disorder' because it is tremendously inconvenient for the 'trainers.' When the stickers and the bribes and the threats and the punishment stop working --and they stop working the moment the trainee decides they're not worth it/bad enough to comply with, not when the trainer's tired of using them-- they can't be started again.


    Answer by LindaClement at 12:47 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • ...more...

    When a child has learned to resist control (that's what training's about) they go in one of several directions: mindlessly or dangerously rebellious about everything (anorexia is a good example of this); apathetic learned helplessness, and suicide are a few.

    The problem (as The Horse Whisperer sees it) is the destruction of trust. Once the training figures out it wasn't love, or affection, or connection or support --but control, pure and simple-- they become guarded, wary, often extremely angry --whether that anger gets turned outward or inward, or if it just turns the child into a little Hitler with people younger or weaker is up to the child.

    When a child no longer trusts anyone, he can no longer rely on anyone for his safety, for unconditional affection and support, or for any sense of belonging with 'them.' This creates tremendous anger, and predictably anti-social behaviour.

    Read 'Unconditional Parenting.'

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:52 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

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