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why does everyone think I will change my mind!?

My son is five now and I haev said that he will not get a TV in his room until he can buy it. That I will not buy him a car and that He will not get a cell phone until he is 15 at the youngest. Me and DH have talked about it and agree. WE have our reasons. People ask me what we plan to do about these tings. We tell them and they just smile and say 'Well, we'll see. huh? Once he starts asking for those things, We'll just see.' Really? Uhg! It just annoys me. any one else have this 'problem'.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (61)
  • It is possible that you might change your mind. But it is super irritating when people say it like that. Makes it very frustrating to have people undermine your ideals that way. It is just as possible that you will NOT change your mind.

    I don't have any intention of putting televisions or computers in my children's rooms. I dont' think it's a good idea at ALL.
    I may have a cell that the kids get to use if they are on an activity and they need to call us to come get them. We'll see. I have no intention now of it having texting capabilities.

    As far as cars go, we have discussed doing what my parents did with us, there were "extra" cars that my Dad owned. They were NOT our cars. We could drive them if they were free and if we put the gas in them. We had to pay for our drivers ed course and for our licenses. We also had to pay for the insurance. If my parents needed the car too bad for me.

    Answer by WillDoDa at 7:52 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Just remember you're the parent, what you choose to do is your business. You don't have to prove anything to anyone else.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 2:02 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I think it's an honorable thing to be a parent in these times, and stand up to your kids. Seriously, people are getting so soft. How did we ever grow up working for what we had? Oh
    I believe in working for what you have, no matter your age. Of course there are birthdays and Christmas and such, but Cars, Phones, and TV's , no kid NEEDS and every kid WANTS. Let's just put a fridge, a toilet and a TV in thier rooms, and they'd NEVER COME OUT!!!!
    I say GOOD FOR YOU! You and your husband need to stick to your guns! I admire you!

    Answer by sandypops at 2:04 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • My son is almost 15 - he does not have a TV in his room and never will. He will first have to have a steady job for at least a year before we will help him with a down payment for his first car or, if he hasn't earned that down payment help, he can buy the whole thing on his own. As for a cell phone, if he wants one that bad, he can get a job & pay the bill, b/c we will not. Cell phones are a convenience, not a necessity, at least not for him yet.

    Let people say what they want and pay them no mind because they are not the ones raising your children. Or, better yet, simply don't discuss it with them; It isn't their business anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I totally agree with you on these points. My husband and I are not in total agreement but we'll deal with that when the times comes. But i know people just think that everyone gives in just because kids ask for these things. Hello! no they don't always get what they want. My son wants things and we tell him to save his allowance, we are not always goign to give him whatever he wants. Is amazing what kind of parents are out ther.

    Answer by choco_mom at 2:11 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • We agree with you completely. Our children will not got those luxuries, until they can buy them with their own money.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:11 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I think is nice that you and your DH decide to teach your son the values of things and at the same time he is not going to be attached to his room just seen tv or PS or texting all day. The thing is we as parents sometimes adjust our decisions as the life changes to, and that is OK because that is life . But i know is annoying when you have your believes and others don't respect that. I breastfeed my two boys nothing but my milk and my mother in law all the time was telling me to give them formula, until one day i toll everyone to please respect my decision . Don't give it to much thought you know what is best for your family not others. And if you modify is because you decided not others.

    Answer by violetlady at 2:12 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • People usually say things like that when they realize they have caved on things they used to think were important... it's a way of justifying their own choices. It's also possible that when you talk about those things, you sound like you're on your moral high horse, and they feel like you're attacking their choices, and so they want you to see that you're making assumptions about a future you have not yet seen... If you don't think you're being like this, then just feel confident in your own choices. We don't turn on PBS kids in the morning just to buy an extra hour of quiet time like our friends were "sure" we would eventually do. But try not to get too preachy or you'll inevitably end up eating your words.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • teen boyamerican footballbaseballThings change people change...I always said I would never get married and here I am with 4 We don't have to tell you you will change your mind it will just happen that way and if it doesn't then good for you.

    playing soccerGL


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Personally, I would never say never. I would call it a plan that may or may not be revised as you and DH see fit.

    We have 3 kids and couldn't agree more about the tv in the room thing. It's not necessary. Now that my oldest is 12, though I am rethinking the cell phone thing. The kid is active in after school sports and sometimes I don't know if or when he has practice and when he needs to be picked up. A cell may help in that respect, but I then say no again when I see his friends completely attached to theirs.


    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:22 PM on Feb. 22, 2010