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I am invited to a wedding, the invitation says "and guest".

The wedding is happening about 6 to 7 hours from here, so I will of course be taking my two children with me, butI am curious what I should do with the kids as far as attending the wedding. Should I call my cousin and ask if it is okay if they come? Xhander will be almost 9 and is very well behaved, but Jett will only be 9 months old so I don't know how to go about bringing him to a fancy wedding...

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kitten_shuga

Asked by kitten_shuga at 2:23 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • No, absolutely not. The kids aren't invited. If you can't get child care then I wouldn't go. Don't put her in the awkward position of having to tell you she doesn't want your kids there. Sorry, I know its not easy, I've missed a wedding or two because we couldn't get a sitter, but it is what it is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I'm afraid I agree with the previous poster. Kids weren't invited to the wedding, or their names would be on the invitation. I also have missed more than one wedding because I couldn't get a sitter, but I do understand when children aren't invited, especially to a formal wedding. A bride can't invite one friend's child because they're "well behaved", and leave out another friend's child who may not be as mature, it would cause hurt feelings, so it has to be either all children or none.

    Also, if there is a budget, and there almost always is, to invite children might mean that you had to leave out some adults that you really want to have at your wedding because of expense.

    Don't take it personally, but if you can't get a sitter, I'd RSVP that you can't make it.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:35 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I've seen children at formal weddings before and since this is your cousin, not a friend, she should be approachable to at least ask. I personally don't think that would hurt. This is a wedding, not a secret government meeting with only top clearance military personnel. She obviously knows you have young children and it sounds like you won't have a sitter since you're talking about bringing them, also something she should have at least a clue about. Don't rely on strangers interperatations of what your cousin might be thinking, ask.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I wouldn't mind kids at my wedding.......no matter how "fancy" it was
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I think it is rude to ask, I would be that even for children she is paying at least half a plate charge, which could be $50-$100 at least. Go ahead and ask, but be prepared for her to feel awkward and for you to feel offended when she says no. She knows you have kids, yet she didn't invite them, not because she forgot, she didn't invite them on purpose, why push it and turn this into something?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • :-/ Sorry, But weddines are family events. If your kids can't come. :-/ don't go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • i wouldnt mind kids at my wedding!! Marriage is a part of life and so are kids!! You might get lucky and baby will be sleeping?!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I'm with the first poster. If your child wasn't listed on the invitation, the child isn't invited to the wedding. Weddings are family events, but some venues and weddings are not conducive to having children attend. You can ask, but it would be bad manners for you to do so.
    acollins09

    Answer by acollins09 at 3:07 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I'm with #1 - if your kids' names aren't on the invitation, they are not invited, don't bring them. The "and guest" refers to an adult companion - in other words, they're telling you if you have a boyfriend or are gay and have a girlfriend, feel free to bring that person if you'd like - but not the kids. If you can't find a sitter for the, you're not going to be able to go. If you want to bring them with you since it's a few hours away, ask the bride or whoever it is you know, or someone in the wedding party, or the bride's parents if you know them, to line up a reputable sitter for you to watch your kids while you attend the wedding - but you need to pay that sitter if you do that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • As the mother of the groom for a wedding this summer.....if the kids aren't on the invitiation, either call the party that asked you and see if child care can be made available OR don't go. But don't take your children. "And Guest" means a date for those adults invited that are single.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:11 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

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