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How do you deal with inlaws that want to keep the family seperate?

I have a SIL that refuses to do anything with my family. When I got engaged to my DH and my aunt was planning my bridal shower she told my aunt not to invite anyone from my DHs family because she was throwing her own shower for them. Now we are expecting our first child and we are thrilled, but she is at it again. I am only 3 months so to me it is way to early to start thinking about that, but everytime I see her she asks me about it. She wants to throw a shower for my husbands side of the family only, and not even invite my mom! My mom suggested that she and my MIL work together to throw one to unite both families, (I love this idea) and my SIL is freaking out. I don't know what to do, any ideas?

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Asked by newchapternlife at 2:57 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 6 (130 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Do you what you want to do. F your SIL

    Answer by Christina2135 at 3:01 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I say get your mom and MIL together in the same room and plan it out with JUST them and leave your nosy SIL out of it. What business is it of hers anyway? Why is she trying to keep everyone apart? SO childish if you ask me! If she throws a fit, let her. Make the arrangemets with them and have it all done without her knowledge of when/where until she gets an invite in the mail.

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 3:02 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I don't know for sure, but I have a thought. If there is someone on your side of the family who wants to give you a shower and your sister-in-law wants to give you a shower, I think you have two choices. You simply accept that there will be two separate showers and you provide two separate guest lists. Or you could let each of them host a shower and you provide the same guest list to each with the stipulation that all guests are invited to both showers or to whichever one they choose to attend. There might be some members of your family who would like to attend both. It has always been customery that the honoree submits the guest lists. I would not dare offer to host a shower and not allow the honoree to have the honor of inviting whomever she wishes. You could suggest that the two go together and have one shower and save expenses, too, but I guess that wouldn't work in this case.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:10 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Tell your sister in Law you dont want to, her options are Work together or she not go! Sounds like SHE is the problem not really the other side of the family! Does she expect you guys to throw the baby two birthday parties too!!! Tell her to get off her crazy horse enjoy YOUR family as well as her own or dont come! THE END!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 3:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • tell her what YOU want i suppose. hopefully she will remember that this party is for YOU. =) gl

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • sorry tell her you dont want TWO!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 3:51 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • What difference does it make if your SIL is freaking out? It doesn't sound like she is in charge...

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 4:39 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

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