Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does this have any truth to it?

A friend told me over the weekend (she's older than I am) that you never truly get over your first love? If that's the case then I'm just out of luck, because I'm trying to get over mine, but I don't want to replace him, I want to be over him, give me some opinions or some experience you may have had with this, thanks!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If someone is not over their first then they have withstanding issues that they need to address. Like for me, the first step in getting over it was to call him and tell him exactly how I felt and to never talk to me again. He tried, of course, but my boyfriend (now husband) put him in his place. Read: beat the daylights out of him. That helped.

    Answer by threeeunder3 at 4:09 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I think there is some truth to it, but not in the way you're thinking. You WILL get over him, but down the road you will always remember the love you had for him. I'm in my early 30's, been happily married for over 10 years and still have love for my first love. I'm not in love with him, would never in a million years (even if I was single), would never consider getting in a relationship with him again, but I do have love for him. Does that make any sense?


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I got over mine but he was mean and I finally had enough. He tried for a year to get me back but I just could not do it. What helped, besides accpeting that he was no good, was that it was a "first", you know? Most "firsts" are way more romanticized in our minds than they were in reality.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Speaking from personal can & you will. I still have " a love" for my first love but I'm not in love with him. There was a time I was in love with him & thought ,this is it, this is my forever...was I wrong!! It took me 2 years to realize that I didn't love him that it was the thought of what I had with him that i was in love with.Today 3 years later, I want what is best for him & what will make him happy. I have moved on & fell in love with my soul mate!! Good luck it will happen. Everything takes time.

    Answer by rebel07 at 4:14 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • There is much truth in that statement, your first love is always remembered in a "first" kind of way, does not necessarily mean that years after you will still love him, just the memory. Apparently yours is still fresh give it some time before you jump into another relationship. Life goes on and new relationships form, and that first will always be in your memory, as just that, a memory.

    Answer by older at 4:14 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Phffff, I don't even think about mine anymore

    Answer by TarLion at 5:04 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I got over mine. I don't have room to clutter my heart with the past. I need it for now. Don't look back. Think now and move forward

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:13 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Technically speaking, you should only have one true love in a lifetime. Even widows who remarry after the death of their husbands still love their memories. They often marry widowers who are also looking mainly for companionship and who choose not to live their lives alone. I think far too much physical attraction is confused for love. All I know is that I've been married for many, many years to the only man I have ever loved, the only man I've ever had sex with, and the only man with whom I've ever been "in love." I was infatuated a couple of other times but only briefly, and those were before my husband was in my life. I think if you know what you want in a man and then choose to wait for him to come looking for a wife(as I did), then you don't have to go through the agony of breaking physical bonds, which I personally don't think you can ever completely get over, because you have given him a part of yourself forever.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:11 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • it's hard but u do get over him i still think of mine every once in a while but i love my husband n daughter and i wouldn't change anything u always think of them but u don't always live happily ever after with ur first

    Answer by millerchic at 6:15 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Nope not true at all. You'll always remember them as your first love but someone else will come along and make you fall in love all over again. You may even realize that guy WASN'T your first true love....

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:05 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.