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Do you think this is rude?

On a number of occasions I've invited the in-laws over for dinner. One of the family members always sits at the table but won't eat anything. She claims all sorts of foods make her violently ill (the one's she's identified to me speficially are dairy products) so I have been very careful not to cook with any dairy products. She always asks how everything is prepared and I really try to cook healthy meals with lots of salads and veggies but still she never eats anything. Then when dessert is served she usually always has something even if I tell her it has butter or eggs. If I ask her if there was something wrong with the meal she'll usually say she ate before she came because she didn't know if she would be able to eat what I cooked. Do you think that is rude?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Food & Drink

This question is closed.
Answers (35)
  • It would raise my eyebrow, and I would certainly talk about her with my husband, lol, but I'm betting it has absolutely nothing to do with you or your meal. Like the above poster said, maybe she has an eating disorder, or some kind of social anxiety when it comes to eating in public, and just can't resis sweets...who knows...rude? I don't know,.... weird? YES. From now on I would assume she will not eat, don't try to accomodate her anymore and just enjoy everyone else.

    Answer by gramsmom at 5:10 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • No. I think she's just doing what she has to do. Or maybe she's just a picky eater but loves you and wants your company. I wouldn't take it too personally. I know that is hard to do...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Yes that is very rude, you don't go to somebody's house for dinner, and not eat unless there is a very good reason. Everybody that I know, knows I can't eat anything with onions, but that doesn't stop my MIL, so when she does that I don't eat. I would say something, and stop inviting.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:58 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Its pretty rude..Don't invite then for dinner anymore, just do a dessert or brunch with fresh fruit and raw veggies ..


    Answer by kjfamily at 4:59 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I think it is rude, IMHO. I think she could be lying...because if dairy makes her violently ill, she shouldn't be eating buttery desserts! Next time you have dinner plans, call her and tell her ahead of time what you will be fixing and how you will be fixing it. If she does it again, tell her to just show up for dessert from now on. I'm sorry, but she is being ridiculous and I find her behavior incredibly insulting.

    Answer by Ann_Ony_Mouse at 5:00 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • no its not really rude.. but sounds like she has some kind of eating disorder

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 5:06 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I don't really try to pressure my guest in anyway and I'm certainly not going to guilt them into eating something. Does it really matter? Try no to be so sensitive. Maybe she just likes sweets, maybe she can't stomach your cooking. Theres nothing worse than feeling forced to eat something for the sake of manners. My parents would make me do this when we were guest and then wonder why I would throw up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Kind of is rude to me. You try to accommodate her and she will still not eat your food. I personally would not invite her anymore.


    Answer by louise2 at 5:10 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Sounds like to me also that she has an eating disorder. What does she do after she eats the sweets? Does she disappear to the bathroom?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I am not sure if it is rude, but it is odd. I wouldnt make too much a of a fuss over it and if you stop inviting it can damage your relationship with your in laws. Instead I would stop trying to accomodate her with the meals since she isnt going to eat them anyway and try some vegan dessert recipes instead. That way you can tell her "I figured you already ate as usual but I prepared this dessert without any dairy so you could enjoy it without getting sick."

    Answer by jenellemarie at 5:21 PM on Feb. 22, 2010