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Step son and his mother????

So my step son lives with me and my husband and our children and he is about to turn 9 in March, his mother wants to get him a cell phone but every cell phone that is given to him to play with he looses or breaks. We have already told her he's to young to have one, when he comes back from spring break how do we handle it?? She is just doing it now to piss us off because she never calls him when he's at our house. What to do??

Answer Question
 
aheuszel

Asked by aheuszel at 9:04 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 17 (3,855 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I would take it away and put it up. I would send it back with him when he goes to his mother's. If DH and you have made it clear to her that you will not allow him to have a cell phone at your home, and she still gives him a phone, i think you have every right to put it up. I would make sure to turn it off and just hide it away somewhere while he is at your house. My SD has mentioned getting one when she is 12. I am not sure how we will handle it when it comes up because nothing is ever consistent with BM so who knows what will be going on in 2.5 years.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:15 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • If it was a gift from his mother and she is paying for the phone and the mintues....I say it is between them. If he looses the phone or breaks it why would you stress? It would be his mother's dime. So let him have it with a few simple rules. No phone at meal times, no phone at school, and no phone during family activities. Also no phone after a certain time at night and before such a time in the morning. And I say set the rules only because it is your home and your husband should be the one to lay out the rules since it is his son. If he violates the rules then the consequence is his phone is taken for a week. If he looses the phone let his mother handle it. No need to punish him over something she thought he was mature enough to handle. If she is just doing this to get your goat then don't let her see you even break a sweat.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:47 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • If she's going to finance it let her - you can still have rules about when he is allowed to use it (shuts it off and leaves it with you at night and can't take it to school, not at the dinner table, etc...). However if your husband has full custody it seems that he would be able to "override" the mom on this one...no?
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 11:34 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I'd say if the concern is that he will lose it, than it sounds like the problem will solve itself! Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:52 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I would take it & put it up. He would only be allowed to use it to call her or if she called. I would not let him have it to "play" with. When he goes to her house he can take it with him. She can not control the rules in your house.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 7:39 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I agree with motherof hope. My son is 8 I bought him a cell phone because I didn't want to have his father calling me. He only uses to talk to his dad from my house and when he's at his dad's to call me. he knows its not a toy. Just do the same with him.
    StefInfection

    Answer by StefInfection at 9:20 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I agree its between him and his mother.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:21 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I think he is too young, but if the mother wants a private line to call on, sit it on the charger and only allow it to be used for her calls. Keep it in a 'public' family area. If she wants it, she is responsible for the bill too. Designate hours, no answering at dinner, etc. It can be used as a teaching tool as well on courtesy, respect, responsibility, etc. I know it's not what you want, but at the same time, you can't keep a mother from her child (whether she's worthy of that time or not) so I would use it to your advantage. It's not a toy, it is a communication tool...for mom only.
    midnightshadow2

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 10:37 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • If you and your husband have made it clear to your step-son that he is not allowed to have a cell phone than you should not go back on it, no matter who gives it to him. When he is at your home simply take the phone and send it back the next time he goes to his mother's. You could also have your husband inform his son's mother that she should keep the phone with her because the child is not allowed to use it in your home and so there is no point in him bringing it back and forth.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Tell the bitch to grow up gezzzzz.
    annie610

    Answer by annie610 at 10:05 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

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