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He said "You should....

"You should be glad I go to work and come home everyday." He said that in response to me saying that he didn't interact enough with the family and he's too obsessed with video games. I was like, what?!, I should be happy you come home???? And he said that, yeah, some guys don't come home all the time. He was dead serious. Am I expecting too much or is my husband ridiculous?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • So he's aiming for not the complete bottom, but one step up from shittiest husband? (the kind that don't go home) Tell him he needs better goals. He is being completely unreasonable.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Like where is he going to go? He should be glad you cook and clean and care for the kids (assuming you do)!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • He's right. Some men don't come home...but, if all he's going to do when he gets home is sit there in front of the TV, is there a difference? He might as well not be there, am I right?

    But, he's just getting defensive about his addiction.

    Last week, I read about a grown man who nearly killed his mother for telling him to quiet down while he was playing his game.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • OP HERE- darn right I do. I take full care of the house and kids. Then while he's playing video games I sit on the floor and play card games with the kids. I'm always taking care of family. That's my life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I would have told him, that yeah I am glad you come home, but the fact that you do... does not give you the right to negate your dutys as a husband and father! I would then say, how would you feel if I took the stance you just did?

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 9:44 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • he is being ridiculous. i would try to bring it up another time. mention that your kids would like it if they could do something with him...and if he thinks you should be greatful that he just comes home and then goes and hides with video games i would explain that he might as well not come home. i would be pretty upset....that he would say something like that. i dont care if other men dont come home, i am not with other men. my expectations have not changed. i expected SO to come home when i first met him and i will continue to expect this. that is not something i feel i need to be thankful about. i mean i am, but he doesnt need a pat on the back for it. you know?

    it is hard to get some men involved sometimes. i have to push SO a lot with certain activities, but there are other things that he does well with the kids. so i just work on what i can a little at a time.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:49 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I agree with all the posters, though if my husband said that to me I'd get defensive right back and accuse him of making it a threat - as if he's saying he just might not come home one day. I left my first husband for similiar reasons. He came home every day but he paid no attention to me or our two babies. I told him if he wasn't going to be in our lives then there was no point in him living with us or being married.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • My SO is the same way. He goes to work, comes home, plays video games. Sometimes til 6 in the moring. Sometimes I feel like I can't sleep unless he's playing cuz thats all he does. I don't even care anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • @anon 6:57 - I'm terrified I'll get to the point where I don't care anymore. This isn't how I envisioned my marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I give hubby a chance to wind down, you know, change his clothes, have his dinner then he must play with the kids or help out with the night time routine. That took a long time though, I'd talk to him about it allllllllllllll the time about how he was driving me crazy cuz he travels so much and that he can play his video games and watch his violent tv after they've gone to bed or when he's in his hotel room after work. Children grow so quickly and one day they will remember how they were treated and I told him he doesn't want to be the parent that didn't pay enough attention to their kids and they seek that attention elsewhere and get into trouble. What really did it though was wh I became depressed and threatened divorce, I said life would be easier living with my mom. She's offered to help me go back to college, and he'd get them on the weekends so I would always have a break. AND Id get a fat paycheck for child support.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

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