Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do I not really love him if...

If there are several things about him that I try to change? Like the fact that he smoked pot and I have forbid him to do it. Or the fact that I would love if he would put down the damn video games. And how I want him to be more family oriented. He says maybe I don't want to be with him but I do love him. We've been together 6 years.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • i waited for him for 7 years. thank goodness i found mr.right. he saved me. leave this guy. you probably started at the bottom of the ladder together right? then you moved up a step. then another. you've been begging him to "come up" with you. but now your 6 steps up and he's still at the bottom. stop begging and pulling and throwing him lines. he doesn't want to be where you are. he doesn't want to go where you want to go. find a guy on your "step". one who is looking up...just like you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I wanted DH to quit smoking when we were dating. I refused to move in with him if he didn't. That's BECAUSE I love him and want him healthy. He hasn't had a smoke in 10 years. :)

    Answer by KairisMama at 10:17 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • youre drunk

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Actually I don't drink but thanks for your input.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • HE is using this as a tool against you to try and get his way with things, smoking pot is not a responsible behavior of a husband or father, and playing video games all the time is immature and irresponsible if he wasn't willing to grow up HE shouldn't have gotten involved in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with the things you want, he is being a jerk and needs to grow up.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 10:19 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • IMO - you fell in love when you were both carefree and younger... you've done some growing up and now you see that he needs to, too. You still love him, but feel he needs to grow up. It was like this with my xH. This would be the reason he's the EX, he refused to grow up. He's almost 30 now and still acts like a teenager... its really sad when my 25 y/o DF is more of a "grown up" than he is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • are u with me x??? x didnt smoke pot but found out he tended to use coke and he knew that was a huge no no to me..( he go to his brothers house for a few beers. ) also he would play playstation for 12 hours on the weekends and about 5 hours a night during the week. he would ignore me and our dd. i moved out and moved on i have a wonderful husband now who wants nothing to do with drugs and dosent care for vidio games unless its the game of life or monopoly and we play together for an hour when kids go to know it is possibile to move on and find a great guy. ohh and my x hes married now and still does the same tricks but not my proublm anymore its his new wifes. and one time a few months ago he came to pick up dd and he was drunk as a skunk...yeah she didnt go and me and my dh confronted him the next day my dh said if u ever come over again to pick up my sd up drunk i will kill u myself. hun move on xo

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • If you find yourself in a relationship where you have to forbid someone to do something, there is no mutual respect or grown up behavior. Not worth it. Get out.

    Answer by ecodani at 10:31 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • You can't "forbid" a grown man to do certain things, any more than he can "forbid" YOU to do certain things. We take people at face-value. If you can't love him just the way he is, it's time to let him find a woman who can appreciate him for who he is NOW.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Trying to change a man is a great way to lose him, if he is even worth keeping, and if you want him to change then he probably isn't. Maybe you love him, but love isn't always enough.

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:37 PM on Feb. 22, 2010