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So.....

Last weekend, my boyfriend came to spend the night with me. We had a really great time. But the next time I came to visit him, he told me, "Do you remember that photo album that was on the floor next to your bed?" He is referring to an old spiral-bound notebook that has pictures of my kids when they were babies taped inside it. And there just happens to be pictures of their dad in there, too. Now, I forgot I even had the damn thing, but since I am moving soon, I was going through stuff in my closet that I need to get rid of, and when I saw that book, I was like, I should take care of this now. But I didn't get to it, which is why it was on my bedroom floor. Well he said he looked through it, and said we all looked very happy...and then he said that he thought I should think about getting my family back together. WHY would he say this? He knows everything about why I left their dad...so what gives? Advice, please?

 
chavela_carlita

Asked by chavela_carlita at 10:22 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (887 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • i have to agree with the above posts.. he could be intrested in another or he could just be an idiot. if he feels threaten calm him on that. and talk to him..stright out sit him down and say are u intrested in someone else or do u have fears...i went threw this years ago he said maybe u and x can work it out stay a family.. i said no hes a jerk ( and he knew that ) in the end i found out the guy i was seeing was seeing someone else while dateing me. and he also said he was afraid my dd would hate him and that my dd is a sweet lil girl so he didnt think he could handle her saying its your fault dad isent around ( he wasent and she was 3 ) im married to a great man now and he know we have pictures of the dad/x and he is ok with it he looks at them and will ask were u guys happy then...yes but 20 mins after the pic was taken we were haveing a yelling match. im honest and will tell him. so talk to your guy and good luck xo
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Oh, and I did ask him why he said that. He just said that it was because we just looked so happy, and it was a shame that we were all split apart like that. Now, it's been FIVE years since their dad and I split up. I can't stand him, and every time we talk it just about turns into a fight. So WHY would I want to get back with this person?

    And I just can't figure out what possessed my boyfriend to say this? Does it make sense to any of you?

    And feel free to ask your hubbys for their opinions, since they are men and can give me better insight as to why men say the things they do. Please. This is really bothering me.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 10:24 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Maybe he's fishing? He just wants to hear all the reasons again why getting back with your ex is a horrible idea. He wants reassurnce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Men usually say dumb stuff because they are afraid or they lack information. He might feel threatened, like he can't live up to being a dad replacement. He might feel afraid that he's not ready to be a good role model around kids, maybe that he can't measure up. Some men rather push a woman away than face the possibility that she rejects him later.

    Of course people look happy in pictures. No one has the camera out during fights.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:29 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • It's because he saw the pics... you were happy at that time, and maybe he thinks you kept the pics because you were holding on to the relationship/past. Men don't really get that we're sentimental people, and even when we have outgrown a relationship that if our kids are in the picture especially, it's hard to get rid of the pictures (and I wouldn't because later, it'd be nice for the kids to see pics of a time when their family was happy together).
    When he saw the pics he might've felt like he was with another man's wife all of a sudden.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:31 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Yeah, he just felt insecure seeing those pics and needs your reassurance...and a list of every little thing you can't stand about your x would be helpful too I'm sure.
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:32 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I guess I can understand the insecurity part....but the 'dad' replacement doesn't fit....anyways thanks for the advice and please continue to tell me what you think.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 10:34 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Your post makes me think of Pink's song "Family Portrait". Does he come from a divorced family? Maybe he did think you were remembering the good days and longing for that again with your ex. Just reassure him you want to be with him, I think that's what he wants to hear. GL

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:12 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

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