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How are you dealing with the 18 year old still in highschool?

Whenever he is upset the response is "I'm 18, I can do whatever I want." The conversation often esculates.

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Hippo-ray

Asked by Hippo-ray at 10:27 PM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Then he can live somewhere else, if he is in your home eating your food wearing clothes you bought using your utilities he will follow your rules or he can go take care of himself.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 10:29 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • If he is in your home he should follow your rules. If he don't like it, he can put his big boy pants on and move his happy ass out!
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 10:47 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • hummm... sounds as if you lost control LONG ago. I was a total brat at 18 but would have NEVER said that to my parents. Best to just stick it out. He is right he is 18 and if you dont have control by now, Im not sure how you will gain it.

    Perhaps cut off any money you give him, and give ONLY the basics.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Only give him the basics. She's right. He thinks he's old enough to preach that? Then he is sure old enough to be an adult. Start asking him scary things like, so how much money do you have saved up? Do you know how much apartments cost? Or even better, tell him to pay rent then if he wants his own freedom. That's what i'd tell my kid to do, wanna be a grown up, then be a grown up.
    LogansMama09

    Answer by LogansMama09 at 11:18 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • My sons are 18 and 19 years old and are high school seniors and they have rules that they have never even though to question. They have to be home by 8p on school nights (unless they work or have a school related activity) since we always eat supper together as a family, they have to be home by midnight on weekends and they have to have clear plans by 8p on the night they are going out or they don't go out, they cannot miss any school unless they are sick (the school requires parents of 18+yo's who are still at home to still call and send notes which is a plus), attitudes WILL get them grounded & we keep aan eye on their grades. If they ever said "I am 18, I can do whatever I want" then they surely could....they'd be moving out about 15 min. after they uttered those words. We pay all of their basic living expenses & they pay their car insurance & cell phone bill so, we still get to make the rules.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • when he tells you this then you say to him if you think your old enough to do what you want then proof it to me show me how respondsible you are. in everything you are suppose to do that is for your own good. Tell him that within reason he's old enough to do what he wants , But if its you house your rules, so he has to stick by your rules, but then again it could be that age when all 18 year olds think that they know all about life now, so everything is okay. lol. And they don't know that us mom and Dads are still even learning new things at times in life. gl /;)
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:22 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • As long as he's under YOUR roof, he is still under YOUR authority. If he doesn't like that, tell him not to let the door hit him in the butt when he leaves. He'll be back whenever his belly starts growling. I lived at home with my parents until I got married, when I was 20, and I had a full-time job, paying for my own car, clothes, etc. and I still had to obey their rules. I even had a curfew the night before I got married!!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 9:59 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I don't know how I will deal with my own children when they get to be that age, but when my husband had turned 18, he had just finished his junior year of high school. He was working full time until 2 am at a factory with me. One night, he was so tired, he dropped me off and didn't want to drive the rest of the way home, so he stayed at my place. The next morning, his stepmom was flipping out when he got home. She kept talking going around and around with him. So that day he got some boxes, packed up his car, and moved in with me. I don't think that he would have moved in with me so soon if his parents hadn't been pushing so hard to keep him under THEIR roof. It's sort of the same reason I moved out so early, too. We got married only a week into my husband's senior year of high school.
    Do what you think is best, but be aware that if you push too hard, you might push them right out.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 10:18 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Your house, your rules. End of story. He doesn't like it he can pack up and leave anytime. My son didn't play the "I'm 18" card when he was in HS, but he tried it after he graduated. We told him he could get a full time job and pay all his own expenses anytime he wanted, including paying rent for his room so he wouldn't have to abide by our rules. He decided to abide by the rules instead. Our rules aren't strict, more about being mindful of the fact that while he's an "adult", he's got a younger brother and sister still in the house.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:19 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I would agree with him 100%, get the newspaper show him the help wanted adds and apt. for rent adds. I would go into linen closet get two sets of towels and sheets then into kitchen get some old dishes and pots and pans, etc. Find some trash bags and tell him to pack up he is on his own. This would be without warning. After the shock wears off ask him if this is what he had in mind? If he says no then tell him as long as we are in anyway supporting you you have the option of living in our house by our rules otherwise here is your stuff move out and be the adult you say you are. Smile and acccept his decision.

    higherboundmom

    Answer by higherboundmom at 10:29 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

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