Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Are you..

In a relationship, or have you ever been in a relationship, where you want to get married but your SO doesn't? My SO has been married before, but he has been divorced for over 6 years. I have never been married before. We have been together for 5 years and we have a son together. He keeps making excuses of because of financial reasons we have to wait. Which, I agree with, but that doesn't mean we still can't be engaged. What is your take on this situation?

Answer Question
 
Cappy1979

Asked by Cappy1979 at 3:16 AM on Feb. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (110 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • he is probably already cheating on you ? my instict tells me this would be the reason try following him in his car?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • idk why he wouldnt wanna marry you,is he thinking he is too hot for you? i mean i dont get why after 5 years he wouldnt wanna marry you,i would just ask.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • sometimes when men are married before, they hesitate to do it again....maybe he thinks it would change things between the 2 of you ?
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 3:36 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I know for a fact he isn't cheating on me. He goes to work M-F from 8am-4pm, gets home about 4:15-30.When is not workiing he is home. When he goes somewhere DS and I are always with him, just so we can get out of the house for a while And I talk to him a lot. He has the internet there and when he calls his work num shows on caller id. We have this talk before, but I don't get much out of him. One time he told me to stop bugging him about it.
    Cappy1979

    Answer by Cappy1979 at 3:39 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • A lot of people are afraid to make the commitment again... when they said I do the first time they likely thought it'd be forever and they feel like they failed and don't want to do it again.
    When you divorce and kids are involved it's a whole lot messier, more expensive etc...
    I'm not bashing, but your situation is exactly why I'd never live with someone without the benefit of marriage, because when they're getting the benefits of a wife and family then why would they want to get married when it's only "a piece of paper".
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:43 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • the guy is a loser marriage creates love he is not willing to give you...make him jealous sweetie get a guy pal!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • His divorce could have left him with a negative opinion on marriage, but it could also be a sign that something is lacking in the relationship. If you've talked and he knows you would like to be married, and he just doesn't care, then it's probably an issue in the relationship.
    Do you want a big wedding? If not, his money excuse is just that, an excuse. If you do, maybe offer to elope instead, who knows... he may jump on the idea.
    I hate when people say this, but unfortunately it's usually true about a guy having no reason to marry you when you're already "playing house." I have been in a situation where I was pregnant and would've liked to be married, but he wasn't in a hurry because we were already enjoying all the benefits, so his opinion was "why bother?" Then I left him and he quickly changed his views on marrying me, I don't recommend that though.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Is he on craiglist a lot??? warning
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • you need to set the rules
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Yeah the internet is a whole world of cheating without going anywhere. I have even gotten emails about finding" hot cheating wives in my area" its ridiculous!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.