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Would you allow your 11 or 12 year old daughter?

My ex wants to know if in a few years if I will let my daughter fly from Ohio to Nevada (Los Vegas) to stay with him. This man has shown bad judgment in the past and I have never seen his home. As far as custody goes legally he does not even have visitation. I pretty much just let him see her in Ohio when ever he can. I really do not feel comfortable and I do not think I ever will. I do not want my daughter flying by herself. So many things could happen. I do not have the money to just fly to Vegas every time with her. Plus I think the arrangement we have is fine. I feel like I am not the one who moved away from my daughter he did. I think he should come and see her. What do you think? I want to make sure I am being fair. Just the thought of my daughter traveling alone freaks me out.

 
tinaandavasmom

Asked by tinaandavasmom at 7:23 AM on Feb. 23, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Yeah, I'd make him come see her. You have good reason not to let her go out there alone. Hope everything works out!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I would never allow my children to fly alone.
    momov4kids

    Answer by momov4kids at 7:33 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • My parents were divorced and lived far away, they each drove halfway and met at a public park so I could visit my dad.
    momov4kids

    Answer by momov4kids at 7:35 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • If he does not have any court ordered visitation. I would tell him no. When she is 18, a legal adult she can.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:41 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Flying alone isn't the scary part, especially if the kid is 12 years old. The stewardesses on the plane will watch over her during the flight. These arrangements can and have been made tons in the past. If you don't trust the person on the other end though, that is the problem.
    kuriequinn

    Answer by kuriequinn at 7:55 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • as far as the flying part...if you talk to the airline you are sending her on they can arrainge for her to have an employee fly with her as an escort. My step brother and sister always flew from michigan to our home in maine when they were only 8....but they had escorts...and if they had to change flights the escort would go with them into the terminal and wait with them for the next escort to show up to take them onto the next flight...they were never left alone! but as far as your ex's house...i would try to go down with your daughter so you can see the situation and see if its a viable situation for her...if not you can make a vacation out of it for you and your daughter...but dont give up on this situation. Your daughter needs a chance to learn what her father is like...good or bad...if you hold her back, she will be mad at you, even though she doesnt understand its whats best...trust me i know this one from experience.
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 7:59 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • My kids have flown alone many times and its perfectly safe as long as you pay extra to have a flight attendant stay with them. The flyinf doesnt seem the issue in this case. The father obviously doesnt have a strong relationship with his child, hasnt made much effort to come visit and ease your mind. My ex is the same. He has seen his kids 4 times since 1998 and now they are all grown or teenagers. He also didnt have visitation but I had an open door policy if he wanted to see them he could. I wouldnt allow him to have her the way hes asking. He needs to put forth an effort of a relationship, have you look at his home, who will be babysitting, who the child will be around etc before considering. Instead, tell him to fly to you, and visit in your town.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:04 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I flew many times by myself to go stay with my dad over the summer or school break. They were great, it is very safe and the airline will watch your child very closely and hand her over to the person on the other side to pick her up.. It is very common for kids to fly. That is a non issue with me because I was the one that flew. I am sure my mom and dad both were nervous about it at first too..

    If you can not trust him, that is the issue. As she gets older you may be able to trust her and he may change.. For now, I would say it would be best for him to come to you to visit. However, I will caution you, as a mother we are very protective over our children and think the worst sometimes when in reality there is nothing to fear except we are not the ones taking care of or LO in that time. Of course he will not do the exact same things you will, but that does not mean she is not taken care of. We are all different.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:16 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • My Dad lived in another state for a little while when I was a kid. We flew by ourselves and it was perfectly fine. The airline really looks out for kids traveling alone. I was never scared to fly alone or anything.
    On the other hand, there is probably a reason he doesn't have custody so I would leave it at that. Also I dont know where he lives in LV but if hes not reliable I would not let my kid go to LV with an unreliable man to get into trouble!
    DevynHummer

    Answer by DevynHummer at 8:43 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • You should try and think of your daughter in this situation. Its NOT her fault you and her dad split, its NOT her fault you two live in seperate states. You should ask her if she would want to go and see her dad. I know when I was growing up and my mom and dad were split, my mom wouldnt let me see my dad and I hate that she did that. If she does have her dad pay for the ticket though.
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 8:47 AM on Feb. 23, 2010