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What to do when just days before your wedding anniversary your husband ask you for divorce?

My husdand just asked me for divorce last saturday and it was like a cold shower for me; in three weeks is or was our wedding anniversay. I feel so sad, and I don't think I can cry more.... any sugestions do I have to fight to hsave my marriage back or just accept it.

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pulguita

Asked by pulguita at 8:15 AM on Feb. 23, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • you can only do as much as he want to allow to happen. If he doesnt' want to save the marriage, you can't control his feelings. I'm so sorry, and I hope you find some peace and acceptance through this rough time. xoxox
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I am sorry he came to you and asked for this... I can only imagine how upsetting that is.. I think I would talk to him and find out why he wants this. Find out if the relationship is salvageable. Find out what changed and when things changed. I think the more you know the better you will be able to figure this out together. Counseling may also be needed if he is willing to try to keep the marriage together. I wish you the best..
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:26 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • why did he say he wants a divorce?
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 8:45 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I would tell him I would not give him a divorce. I suppose if he really wants one, he can get it, but I would not help him in any way. I would tell him I married him for life, and that is still my choice.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:48 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I am so sorry! For you and your kids...did he give you any reason for wanting a divorce? If it is because he is involved with someone else or wants to be there may not be much you can do except get a REALLY good attorney.
    If he is just unhappy try to get him to talk to you, can it be fixed?
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 8:48 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I don't understand when people say "I would tell him I would not give him a divorce" really??? why would you want to stay with someone who doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you? I'm tired of the religious excuses "its for life" I will stay with him forever even if it means I'm unhappy for the rest of my life. Obviously there was something wrong. I highly doubt this is a complete shock to someone. There had to have been problems or signs of maybe someone else. I would divorce him then go out and make yourself happy. You do not need a man to be happy and know your worth. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • UGH! That stinks! I would ask for his reasons and then take some time to really think about what I want before sitting down and discussing the next step. I think its probably natural to lash out and freak out, but that would only make working it out harder. This may be one of those times when you need to be the bigger person and stay calm even when you want to scream and cry. You may find that he is not worthy of you after all, but at least you know you had a part in the decision making process.

    Good luck and sorry to hear of your troubles.
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 9:36 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • The same thing you would do any other day he would ask you for a divorce: shoot him.

    Kidding, really, get the divorce, what else CAN you do? You don't want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you, right? I did that for a while and it sucked. Now I'm married to the love of my life because I quit fighting for a truly worthless marriage.
    bella36

    Answer by bella36 at 9:43 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I am sad to say but the timing makes me think he has put thought into his choice , That it is not an impulsive decision,
    I am sorry for your pain but it sounds to me like acceptance is what you need to do and make a plan for your new life.
    Fighting for a marriage takes two people wanting to fix it . When one person is doing the fighting and the other is already gone. That just prolongs pain for all including children. ( imo)
    You know things and people change and it doesn't mean someone is a bad guy right ? ( hugs0
    chica1965

    Answer by chica1965 at 9:58 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I'd suggest taking a break before such a drastic thing like divorce. Legal separation would give you both time to think about things.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:07 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

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