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To Moms who went back and forth about having a second child...

I'm 31 and have a 9 month old. If I am going to have another one I want to have it within the next 1-2 years....the problem is everyday I feel differently about it! I feel like I want to give my dd ALL I have to offer and I'm scared if I have another one it will just be constant chaos...I just can't decide and wonder what other moms did when they felt this way...

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Asked by stepmom929 at 11:54 AM on Feb. 23, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 12 (920 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I so want another child! I really do, I have always wanted two kids. I'm 30 right now and my daughter will be 2 next week. Right now my daughter has everything she needs and wants. When I can get her something I do. I can afford my daughter. Sometimes it's hard because my husband had a child with another girl that we found out about when we had just got married. That put a huge or should I say enourmous strain on our marriage. I wanted to walk away but all in all I love my husband even thought I have no desire to be a stepmom. His child lives two states away but we still owe over $600 a month in Child support. That pretty much crushed my dreams of having another child. So I'm kind of stuck on the issue. It's either have another child and both of my children suffer for what we can't afford or just give my daughter all that I can. In this economy it's very hard. I already had to be worried all winter that I might lose my job.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I have tons of memories growing up with my sister as my playmate. I thought the same things though when I had my dd and then we started trying for ds then all the sudden I didn't want to because of exactly what you were saying. I didn't want the chaos but mostly I didn't want to divide my attention. It's hard, it really is but I'm glad for it. I know things will get easier, that this baby stage is temporary and we are in for tons of fun in the future. I think two children is the perfect number.

    Answer by Pristine_Dream at 12:42 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I was an only child. When I had my son I had always gone back and forth on having another. I didn't want him to be an only child like me, yet he was quite a handful and I didn't know if I could handle another "spirited child"! Since then I got divorced and re-married. My new husband and I decided we were not going to have any kids together and he remarked "Unless you're already pregnant" with a chuckle....two days later I took an HPT and it was positive. It was shocking but the most amazing thing ever.

    I have my son and my daughter and couldn't be happier with both my kids and the fact they will always have each other. I look forward to grandkids and family get-togethers at our house when they have families of their own.

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 1:09 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Have you met an old child? lol. JK!! They definitely grow up very differently than kids that have siblings and they have certain personality traits as adults too.
    I have 2 kids.
    I wondered the same thing. Will I be able to give 2 kids the same quality of living that I could give one??
    I can tell you from someone that felt the same way and has 2 kids. AND grew up with one other sibling but has a best friend that's an only child... I don't regret it.
    Your heart MELTS the first time one says they miss the other one. Or when you see one comfort the other one when they think you're not looking.
    Siblings have a very special bond that you can't get anywhere else. I'm happy I was able to give my kids their own best friend right under their own roof.
    Plus it adds another person into their support system. When they have problems they can't talk to an adult about. They have the unconditional love of a sibling. =)

    Answer by Malibustacy at 1:19 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I'm young but I feel the same way. DD keeps me very busy. As a SAHM mom, I love spending all the time I can with her and would love to kick out the chores and have more. Another child seems very unfair to the first. I know a lot of people worry about loneliness but I had 2 siblings and never liked them. I still don't like them. I feel better giving my DD all the time, love, attention, and effort I can then friends where ever she makes them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I had no thoughts about it - I was excited to TTC when my daughter was 11 month's old. We got pregnant the first month - and we're expecting in July. I'm a little nervous now but so thrilled for another little girl.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

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