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My friend lost her baby at 38 weeks... would it be appropriate to send her flowers or is there anything else I can do?

I feel so bad... I am not sure exactly what happened but my cousin said she had a miscarriage yesterday.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Feb. 23, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • Oh that's so sad! ...depending on how close your friendship is, I would say send her food...it's hard to summon up the energy to try to cook, let alone eat when were grieving. But if you aren't that close I would say yes, flowers are perfectly appropriate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I think flowers and a sweet note would be appropriate. Just let her know that you are there for whatever she needs. Maybe talk to her family, and ask if it might be okay to drop by with dinner one night. She's probably not really in the mood to cook, but she can't starve either, so dinner or lunch would be a sweet gift.
    wishwish

    Answer by wishwish at 12:26 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Flowers are definately appropriate and a card with a personal message.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:36 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Flowers are very appropriate.

    How sad, :( These kinds of tragedies are so hard because you never know quite what to say, or what to do, because nothing brings back the lost life. 38 weeks is so far along, I'm sorry for all of you.. : ( Hope you all feel better soon.
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:39 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I've been in her place. FLowers and cards are nice.
    Most importantly, please please PLEASE do NOT forget her baby. This is the biggest complaint that I and other moms have. Some people feel awkward about talking about the birthdate and so on...
    So mark the birth date on your calendar just like you would any other living child and recognize it every year.

    Please do not tell her "It was God's will" or "Everything happens for a reason" and please don't remind her she can always have another. Having more kids (or having some already) has nothing to do with her loss right now.

    Just be there for her. Ask if she needs anything, even if it's a shoulder to cry on. My bff ALWAYS remembers my babies birthday and always sends gifts. It means A LOT. She is very lucky to have friend like you!
    On her behalf, I just want to say THANK YOU.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 12:41 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • do not tell her --- god only give you what you can handle ( that is such bullshit) dont do it .. just send a card/flowers if you want. granted she really wont care right now but looking back on it she will appreciate it more... that is so sad!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:39 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • yes, flowers, and yes to sweets. give her lots of love.
    prinzesa_edith

    Answer by prinzesa_edith at 4:15 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

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