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Nap debate with hubby.

Ok, my husband thinks that our 8 month old DD should be on a strict schedule and come hell or high water, we should never break from this schedule. In the real world, there are nights when her gums hurt her so bad that she doesn't fall asleep until 5 am, no matter what I do to make it better, this doesn't fit into "up at 8, nap at 11, lunch at 1, nap at 3" I think that if she has a rough night that we should let her either take longer naps or more frequent naps the next day, he wants to keep her awake so she'll be too tired to stay up again the next night. So, honest opinions ladies, am I a pushover mom, or is daddy being a hardass?


Asked by heratyc at 12:55 PM on Feb. 23, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Sometimes adults get accustomed to the luxury of having things operate smoothly, in a controlled fashion. The work world can function this way ... if you deal mostly with adults, things can function this way. But LIFE - gardening, farming, animals, hospital patients, AND CHILDREN do NOT flow according to arbitrary clockwork.

    Regulating your household IS a good idea - for the ADULTS! What she needs is set and ready for her; you respond to HER very real needs. The grownups don't watch TV in the room with her, to avoid the over-stimulation which makes it harder to relax quickly into sleep ... The grown-ups re-arrange their activities so as to never wake her up when she is sleeping - sleeping is as important as breathing. Put off dragging her out to the car, be quiet in the house if she's sleeping.

    Feed her as soon as she's hungry, cut short an errand ... It's only for a few months, and it's the start of HER WHOLE LIFE !

    Answer by waldorfmom at 1:47 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • babies set their own schedules. a parent cannot force a baby to sleap. and a babies sleap schedule changes frequently due to teathing, growth spurts, colds, fevers, even something as small as having a 3 am bm. you cannot put an 8 month old on a strict sleaping schedule.

    Answer by cassie_m at 1:00 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • There has to be a balance I agree, but no matter how tired she is from being kept awake, if she's in pain from her teeth, then she's just going to be more tired and still AWAKE and FUSSY!!! I think that sometimes you gotta roll with the punches, and schedules are great (I'm a schedule-girl myself!) but, LIFE HAPPENS!

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 1:00 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I think that you have to bring both ideas together. I agree she may need a bit longer in the morning to sleep, then maybe 10 or so minutes extra at each nap. Just don't over do it or you will get her schedule messed up.
    As a parent you have to be a hardass and a pushover sometimes. You just have to find the balance.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:01 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Is he in the military? lol Babies dont work like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I'm a big believer in schedules, but you have to be somewhat flexible with babies - especially when they are teething or sick! I wouldn't totally ignore the schedule the next day, but let the naps run 1/2 - 1 hour longer than usual, or push bedtime up a little the next night. All 4 of my kids have been schedule babies and really thrive on consistency and routine, but you can be a little flexible and work towards getting back on the schedule without being so rigid.

    Answer by missanc at 1:02 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Schedules are important,but when they are babies it's better to be more flexible. When they get to be toddlers it should be more consistent IMO. :0)

    Answer by Gelijones at 1:02 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • You both need flexibility. Is your husband ever sick with a cold or flu and have a lousy night of sleep where he is up hacking, or worse he needs a nap the next day???? Well tell him: "I don't give a crap, we have a schedule to keep"

    We are human and trying to stick with "strict schedules" doesn't happen in the real world and if he continues to have a "strict" way of doing things as your daughter gets older she will rebel....he needs to lighten up.

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 1:04 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I don't see how he can expect her to stick to that schedule. SHE'S A BABY! She has bad days/nights and when she's cranky from teething GOOD LUCK KEEPING HER AWAKE. That is just plain mean. Unless he is the main caregiver he needs to keep his mouth shut.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:05 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • He does undestand her schedule will change every few months right? Aww men and their know it all attitudes gotta love it lol. No he is being a hardass as you said and he needs to back off. Babies dont work like that you have to contend with growth purts, teething, long car rides, busy days of playing, colds, and whatever else comes your way. There are so many things that will throw a schdule off he needs to stay up till 5am with you and see how he does on 3 hours of sleep.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:11 PM on Feb. 23, 2010