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My mom and mil are really hurting my feelings about this... :(

My husband and I are adopting a biracial little boy and we should finish the paperwork within the next few months. Anyways, we are just in love with him and my stepson is too. We can't wait to be a family for forever. My mother AND my mil are being so ugly to me about it. My mom asks me everyday were there not any white babies (my hubby and i are both white) .. which hurts and my mother in law tries to say that my SS should still come first no matter what because he's ACTUALLY family!! As if our adopted son doesn't mean as much to us as him.. I'm just heartbroken about it. My mom has even decided she'd pay for a domestic adoption herself, if the child would be white. I know I should tell him to F off but they are our mothers. What do I do to keep the peace? I've tried talking to them and nothing works. Please help me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Feb. 23, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (23)
  • tell them to F off! IF they can't be supportive of your family then they don't have to come around anymore. Your adopted son is just as much your son as your SS is. Your mom & mil need to stay out of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Wow your family is harsh... tell them to butt out if they cannot fully accept your new child... whether he is black brown or purple, you love him and that is what matters... I would suggest that you work it out with them or keep them away from your kids, I realize that they are family but they coud do serious mental and emotional damage to your children if allowed to spout rasist bullshit or practice favoritism.

    Answer by LolaRae at 1:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • In my home that would not fly, ever. They would immediately be cut off from seeing you AND both childrren until they change their tune. They are being hateful and racist. You wouldn't tolerate it from a stranger, coming from family makes it even LESS tolerable. If they did change their way and showed favoritism to your stepson over the adopted son...they get cut off. Period. You have to take a stand. "Being Mom" doesn't give you carte blanche to be hateful.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • tell them to f off and te can forget about ever seeing you guys again. tell they are a bunch of racist idiots.

    Answer by piwife at 1:16 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • There's no excuse for the way they're acting. Just tell them that they can accept ALL of your family or none of your family, if they want to keep acting like children about your new son then they can miss out on being grandmothers until they shape up. Oh, and congrats on your growing family :)

    Answer by heratyc at 1:18 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • love sees no color.. stick to your guns & adopt the child .. have a party to introduce him.. your hubby, stepson, & new son must come first.. tell your family either except the child or you will have nothing to do with them.. it would be better if you could get your hubby to say that to, but if he doesn't don't give him a hard time.. it shouldn't matter what color the child is.. we are all part of one race the human race.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 1:19 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I am sorry to say you may not be able to keep the peace unless they stop being so racist.. tell them how you love them & will miss them if they don't except ALL your family..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • That is absolutely unacceptable how they are acting! I would tell them that if they can't accept YOUR new baby, then they can not come around anymore! He is just as much yours as if you would have had him, he is your son, PERIOD!!!!!! It really makes me sick how people are! Anyways, good luck to you with YOUR beautiful baby boy!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Stick to your guns. THEY are the ones losing out.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:12 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • As everyone says, stick to your guns.

    Answer by MiddletonFamily at 2:19 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

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