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My son was recently diagnosed with autism, have a question about his temper

My son just turned 3 a few months ago, it seems like all he does is have fits all day, he gets frustrated or angry very easy...he will kick and hit the walls, throw things and yell. He refuses to share anything. I don't know what to do, do I ignore his screaming and kicking or intervene? Any advice from mothers with autistic children would be greatly appreciated :)

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Feb. 23, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • Very cool web magazine created by a woman whose son was diagnosed with autism. There are constantly fresh articles about autism and parenting and all sorts of good things.


    Answer by ecodani at 2:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Redirection and finding his trigger are what is going to help the most. Why is he throwing the fits? Sharing is just not something he is going to do, sometimes they will but if the other child doesnt play the correct way sharing goes out the window at this age. My son would arrange blocks in patterns if another child wanted to play and messed up that pattern he would freak (he was 3 at the time)

    Doyou have a routine in place for him? a schedule? He needs to know what to expect each day at the same time, if every day is different it is hard for him to process and understand, and it causes stress for him. The fits are part of that stress.

    I wouldnt ignore it we still have to have discipline but it has to be in ways they understand, you have to make it part of a process of ho to do things. Do you have Head start available to you? This helped my son and gave us a good jump start on finding his triggers and dealing with them.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I am sorry - I remember those days well! My son is 12 now and it gets better, so much better! When my son was 3 we used a picture schedule for him. We had a board we put velcro pieces on and then printed out pictures from , laminated them (with contact paper) and put velcro on the back of them so we could make a schedule for him easily. We also put pics of the snacks he could have with magnets on the fridge.
    We used to give big "bear hugs" when he was having a temper tantrum to restrain him from hurting himself or others, and also as a way to provide deep pressure for him. He also had a weighted blanket which helped.
    Is he involved in preschool services? His teacher should be able to give you some pointers on specific things to help him. Also, does he go to speech or OT - they might have good ideas as well.

    Answer by missanc at 8:14 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • It gets better. My son is 12 and has a sister who is normal just 2 years behind him so we had to teach him to control his temper and to share.  what we taught the other kids is that we all have wires in our brain and ours all work right but ds doesnt.

    To deal with tepmer we would watch for the frist sign and then move him to a nother room and cuddle him, the weight helps as said before.


    You may want to contact your school corp. to see if they have an early preschool for children with special needs, this willl also help with any therpy he may need.

    Stay strong Mom we are all here for you. Message me if you have questions


    Answer by nawnie at 10:11 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Every child is different and every autistic child is different. He might not like weight or big hugs (deep pressure), so making a broad statement like give him hugs is absolutely the WRONG thing to say. He might need something else entirely and he is likely trying to tell you what he needs. Have you started OT? They can give you information about his sensory needs.
    Start keeping an eye out for what happened right before one of his meltdowns. Was it in a noisy environment? Does it happen when things are visually too stimulating? What about touch, sometimes a certain texture of clothing can be too much.
    What helps him calm down? Being in his room where it is quiet and he can control what happens? Movement? jumping or spinning? Kids have an amazing ability to tell us what they need, if we are paying attention. You should probably read The Out-Of-Sync Child bye Carol Kranowitz. It explains Sensory Integration and will help!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Yeah, after we went onto the GFCF diet our son's extreme meltdowns quit entirely. We are doing biomedical interventions to reverse autism, and even if you don't think autism is curable, you can't help but notice how much the symptoms of autism fade or go away entirely when going through the treatments. Simply adding cod liver oil to their diet can help! On top of this, find a way to help your child communicate (I suggest: MORE THAN WORDS). Early intervention in your area should be able to help you in-home for free. Feel free to message me if you have any issues, but the biomed mammas group here on cafemom is a great resource for dealing with autistic behaviors. I hope this helps, and good luck to you!!!!

    Answer by Llamatron at 10:02 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

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