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Take a 3 and 6 yr old to a funeral???

I'm going to a funeral for my Great Grandma on Monday. That side of my family is Mormon and believe in taking kids of all ages to funerals. It's closed casket I believe, but I feel kinda funny about it. I sat the 6 yr old down and talked to her about and she's pretty mature and seemed OK with it and she'll get to see her cousins she hasn't seen awhile... The 3 yr old will be 3 in 6 weeks I'm sure wont get it all. I'm not worried about that one.
What do you think???
We're not Mormon, we don't go to church at all. Except for funerals and weddings that is...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Feb. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Go with your gut. You know what is best for your children. I took my 4 yr old to my grandmas visitation at the funeral home. She yelled really loud "Why doesn't somebody go wake her up!" Humiliations galore!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:28 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I think it's really up to how close they were with your great grandmother and whether or not you feel they can behave in such a setting....

    I was 8 when my grandfather died, many of my cousins were in the 4-15 age range and I was the only child there at the funeral, but I was also the closest with him....others were afraid of him because he looked like a tough guy. I am glad I was there and able to say goodbye in that setting and still remember it fondly....to this day Amazing Grace played by bagpipes (he was Scottish and Irish) gives me goosebumps and brings tears to my eyes, but in a good way....they always remind me he's still here.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 6:57 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • well it will help the 6 year old cope but the 3 year old probably wont understand anyway, and he probably wont remember in a few months.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 7:00 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I'm not Mormon either, but my uncle passed away a month or so ago, and yes, we took my kids. Kids need to learn how to handle themselves at a funeral, and in most cases they will put a smile on the faces of mourners who greatly need it. My kids are 2 1/2 and just under 4. We kept them there for about a half hour each night and they went to the wake with us. It was good for them and for others. My uncle was a good man and we have a large family, so the kids gave people something to think about other than loss... Take them.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:03 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • When my husband died I did not take the kids to the funeral they ranged in age from 7-2 and there were 4 of them. I just think they were too young to see that. It really pissed me off that others brought their kids in that same age range. I don't think I would have minded it so much if they didn't let them run around the place, but they were disruptive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Well, I am Mormon, so I can give you the basic etiquette of parents and kids at an LDS service. You probably noticed, we tend to have big families, so you'd be hard pressed to find a Mormon that isn't used to having kids around in our chapels.

    We don't expect kids to be perfectly still or perfectly silent. We'll just take them out to the lobby if they're screaming or crying loudly until they calm down - then we'll just slip back in. Crayons and quiet books are often used as tools to help keep small kids relatively quiet and still.

    It's really up to you, as a parent, if you want your kids there or not. No one's going to look down on you either way, and I can at least tell you that we don't do the scary sermons about hell-fire or anything like that.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

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