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Do you ever wish you could be single without kids again?

Last night in the shower I closed my eyes and wished I was back to being single without kids. I've been married for 6 years. I have 3 kids. I'm a SAHM who is NEVER home! I'm always running errands, picking up or dropping off my daughter at school, going grocery shopping, meeting friend for park play dates.....and so on...I get so stressed out. I feel like I'm always behind on something. I'm so stressed that the sound of my daughters whiny voice when she says "mom! IIIII'm Cooooold" makes me cringe. When my husband tries to touch me in bed (ya know)...I pretend I'm sleeping or I just say "don't think about it, buddy"! I'm neglecting everyone, including myself. I feel like they'd be better without me!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Feb. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Well, yes. but not like that.

    you can't take care of everyone else if you aren't taking care of yourself. It's okay to let the house fall apart every once and a while. It's okay to get take out once or twice a month. It's okay to put the kids down early so you and your husband can share some quality time AWAY from the bedroom. Or get a babysitter. It's also okay to tell your husband that you need a break and go out. or just take a long hot warm bath.

    I sometimes wish i was single without children again. But more often then not, i just wish that my husband were home. He's in Germany and doing all of this all by myself day in and day out can get very overbearing.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:44 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • It sounds like you might be experiencing some depression, you might want to see somebody, or find a good friend you trust, and talk it all out. I think that maybe you need to get a sitter or nanny type person to give you at least 1 day off a week, so that you can be you again.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 8:46 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I often feel the same way as you OP. I am depressed and stressed and have no one to talk to except for online.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Sometimes. I often look out the window and remember how eay it used to be to go out for a walk, or go shopping for groceries, etc. Nowadays it takes FOREVER to get 20 month old dressed and ready to go anywhere.

    I get tired of constantly cleaning up her messes, of changing diapers and dealing with tantrums. I get tired of doing a zillion loads of laundry (most of which are HER clothes).

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I do, but not as much as you. I miss the pre-marriage & kid days, I wish I would have appreciated them more. But, now that the kids are here, I'm glad they are. The husband I could definitely do without. We have a lot going on too, but I think not as much as you. Your letting yourself get stressed out. I have a 9, 6 & 1 yo. I take the older kids to school & then I watch my 1 yo nephew M-F. The babies & I hang out & play or go to lunch with Gramma. Maybe a short shopping trip. Only if its a good day. I don't overburden myself & I don't do play dates.

    Cont....
    carlye828

    Answer by carlye828 at 9:12 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • If you LOVE hanging with your friends, try at home play dates... you take turns at each others houses, the kids play while you 2 chat & fold a couple loads of laundry. That way you each have a little help with the chores and you’re not sitting at the park, getting antsy because you need to be doing something at home. On Monday we have Girl Scouts, Tuesday - Boy Scouts, Wednesday & Thursday - taekwando. Friday night is free, and usually the night I’m reminiscing about my cute little apartment that I used to have, all by myself, soooo clean! Hahaha! Hang in there & cut your schedule. Remember, your not really Superwoman, so cut yourself some slack.
    carlye828

    Answer by carlye828 at 9:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • It sounds like you need a day that is 100% to yourself!!!!
    Mom_of_2_boyz87

    Answer by Mom_of_2_boyz87 at 1:26 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • As the mother of 5 I can honestly say...YES at least 12 times a day lol!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:11 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I think you should make a "me" day at least once a month. I am the same way. I have two kids and a baby on the way. I'm also married and working so it seems like I never had time for myself. All I do is take one day off and go to the spa or just hang at home with the kids at their relative's house and watch movies with my husband. Either way, you have to take more care of your stress level and never let it get too high. Go get your nails done or go out with a friend. Pretty soon, you'll be so relaxed that you will feel like having some "alone time" with your husband.
    QueenBee319

    Answer by QueenBee319 at 2:56 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

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