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please dont bash.. but need help..

soooo here goes, me and hubby decided to try an open relationship add spice yada yada, and i was so cool bout it.. then he met a girl got massages and a kiss and that was it so far, but man after he told me now i feel jealous and hurt, and i have no right to be cause i gave it the OK, so now how do fix this issue.. i changed my mind and that i can't do this, and how do i not be mad at him... for he didnt do anything really

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Feb. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • OMG, I don't believe some of the bs that is being posted here. How come every time someone posts a question about an issue someone is always quick to say throw in the towel, give up the marriage and separate? That's just ludicrous. Marriage is about compromise and adjusting not giving up the first time an issue comes up. Communication is the key. She can figure out something that works for both of them without leaving her husband!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:48 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • tell him you thought you could handle it but you now know you cant. and bringing other people nto a relationship NEVER spices things up..just for future reference:) and also you cant be mad at him for telling him it was okay..and it does say something about im if he was the first one to go out and find another girl so quick...just a thoght.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Just tell him you have rethought it and have changed your mind.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:37 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • talk to him! I agree with anon. . . if he is a good man he will understand and stop things before they get too ugly. . . and if he isn't then you know he just wants to be free. . .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • tell him u changed your mind-- that u didnt expect to feel as u do and u dont want to rreturn to a closed relationship and make your fireworks b between the 2 of u. there r plenty of ways to add spice to a relationship. in fact that is waht makes a relationship special and more intimate if u can let yourself go and feel safe with someone and that should b your husband. get some video tapes to start with and i would guess u both will b happier. good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I think if you're going to have an open relationship, it's only going to work 2 ways. You either: only bring in an extra & only when you are both present, OR... you have an open relationship that is conducted by a series of secret affairs and adopt the don't ask, don't tell policy. He can not expect to meet someone he digs, come home, crack a beer, turn on the ball game & tell his wife/buddy about how hot this chick is. D i s a s t e r. But if you're not into it now, lay down the law. You have a right to have the relationship you want. If you want a little spice without the extra partners, buy a vibrator & a dominatrix outfit. (It's easy to pretend when you wear a little mask over your eyes... hee-hee)

    carlye828

    Answer by carlye828 at 10:41 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • I wonder was he the one to suggest the open relationship?? I feel like you guys opened a can of worms that won't be able to fit back in..Just tell him you thought you could but you changed your mind, if he still wants to see other people maybe you guys should separate and decide what you want out of this relationship..Or give him a taste of his own medicine start seeing someone else and see how he handles it..

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • anon 9:34 - what is your theory based on? SO and I have one and it works for us. It DOES spice things up. Adjusting to something like an open relationship isn't easy so she does have a right to be angry. She just doesn't have the right to be upset with him. She can renegotiate what they want to do, maybe a foursome. That way they'd be together. There are always ways to spice up things. I don't think I'd plant ideas in her mind that makes her think he ran out and got with another woman at the point of permission. For goodness sakes, he got a massage and a kiss! That's it. It's not like he went in a harem and screwed all the women in it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:46 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Anon 9:42 give him a taste of his own medicine? Start seeing someone else? That IS an OPEN RELATIONSHIP!!!!! That's what they agreed to. I don't think he'd get pissed if he agreed to it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:49 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

  • Your husband wanting to be with other women is more than just an issue coming up @ admckenzie..

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Feb. 23, 2010

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