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my 17 yr old asked to be put on birth control...she's never even had a bf

We live in a very small town (600) and she just thinks the boys are losers therefore has no interest in dating.....I was shocked when she asked for birth control...I asked her why?

She has a prom on May 1st an doesn't want her period to come during prom so her friends told her the pill will make her period go away.
Does this make any sense?
Do you think that maybe she is thinking of "doing it" with her date and doesn't want anything to spoil it and doesn't want to be pregnant?

The boy she is going to prom with is a close friend and he has done plenty of one night stands ( she has told me, actually she tells me everything)
should I go ahead with this birth control and be happy with her reason?
should I just get her the depo shot?
What would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Feb. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • First, let me say I have a 17 yr old ds and my dd will be 16 in April, so I understand what it's like to parent teenagers. That being said, what I would do, if I was in your shoes, is this -

    I would take her into the Dr and have the 3 of you talk about it, and allow her and the Dr time to talk about it in private as well.
    If she's still wanting to go on birth control, then I would allow it. I would also talk to her very seriously, but in a non lecturing way, about STD's, possible long term effects of birth control, birth control failures, etc.

    BUT - like I said, even with those talks, I would still go ahead if that was what she wanted to do. Because if she's wanting to do it to regulate her period (which is a very legitimate reason and there are many women who are put on it for this very reason), then that's fine - as long as there isn't any health reasons (as discussed with your Dr) for her to not take it.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:16 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • yea she is probably planning on having sex that night. She probably already has. One other reason could be acne. Some BC pills help control acne and she wants to ensure a clear face for prom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • there r so many side effect to the pill, have u told her about them? Aside from the really bad ones there is also weight gain. I personally would let my DD take hormons and mess w/ her system. but I may give her condoms and PRAY she doesn't do it

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • op here....nope the girl has perfect skin...doesn't even wear makeup!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I think you should tell her all of the side effects first.... I got the depo shot before and gained 60 pounds in ajust a few months -- and I was walking and eating very healthy every day...also really messed with my hormones and moods ...I was crazy lol...I know its different for everyone..

    Also even things as simple as going on the pill can do serious aunt was on the pill and got a blood clot from it ( which i also know wont happen to most people.....but you dont know) ..........

    I really dont see why having your period on prom would really ruin it that badly to go through everything just to not have her period ( that she might not even have that day) ..... try and ask her if that is the real reason -- if she does want it for the period reason or for acne or something like that....maybe the risks arent worth it... if she is planning on having sex, its up to the both of you to decide if condoms will be enoug

    Answer by glamomomo at 1:12 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I think you should do this with her, because she was brave for asking you in the first place. Yes, I do know of girls who take their pill a certain way to have their periods at certain times of the month or to avoid an event so that could very well be the reason. If that's not the true reason though I would still want my daughter to be safe. Please do not get the depo shot though. It has terrible side effects and the FDA has said it causes bone density loss in recent years. A low does birth control is your best option, or the birth control patch which may be easier for her to remember. Please do not shut your daughter out on this. She was comfortable enough to come and tell you that she is ready for this step in her life. How you handle it will determine if she continues to confide in you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • If she is already having sex ( i wouldn't go for it) it's late to do whatever. I have been using those pills to control my period before, it's not something to worry about, or at least to worry that much. If u refuse to help her, next time she will not come to u, she will find her own way. So better help her out

    Answer by nevena73 at 4:25 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I would not. Since prom is still a few months away, I would use that time to further educate her regarding the perils of premarital sex and all the reasons why she will be harming herself should she ever choose that route. If you need help, I suggest the book EVERY YOUNG WOMAN'S BATTLE by Shannon Ethridge & Stephen Arterburn.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:56 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • cont

    Now, if her reason is because she is planning on having sex - well, then again, honestly, I would get her on birth control. Because if she is so determined on this course of action that she has actually talked to you about getting on birth control that means either she is already sleeping with him or she has already made up her mind to do it. YES, I think that having sex at that age is a mistake. BUT, do you want her to compound one mistake (teen sex) with another (not being protected, and proactive in that protection)?

    I would also talk to her, in a "just in case" way, about how her 1st time is going to be something that she is going to remember, and while it sounds romantic and special to have it on Prom night, that's not really what's going to make it special. What will make it special is doing it with a person she loves, and who loves her - not a friend who's into one night stands.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:20 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • A lot of people think that giving a teen a condom, pill, or depo is a reason to have sex but I think it is insurance on not becoming a grandparent anytime soon. My daughters are only 12 and 13 but they have a friend who is 14 and she has already had oral sex and come home with hickeys on her neck. My daughters do not approve of what she did but they still talk to her, her mom says my daughters are the only normal girl friends she has left. When she is here she is a normal girl who hangs out and doesn't think about boys all the time. My 12 year old daughter tells me everything too and I think when the time comes she will tell me if she wants to have sex or ask me to put her on the pill. I will put her on the pill when the time is right. You cannot watch your children 24 hours a day and we do not know what they are doing at all times. Even when we educate them about sex and not to go there.

    Answer by CasualCandles at 8:33 AM on Feb. 24, 2010