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Do you think children and teens should date?

I have a teenager and I have told her many times, that she shouldn't date. I've asked her what is the purpose of dating when you are a young person. She can never answer me. My feeling is as a young woman, she has a lot to loose when she dates. Her school work suffers, she has low self esteem, she can't focus on anything accept the boy! In the meantime, the boy doesn't allow his involvment with her bother him, he will get his school work, ignore her when he has football practice and he will always see other girls. She isn't dating now. It didn't work out and I am happy. Now I notice she is studying again. I didn't allow her to date until she turned 17 and I still think it is too soon. Girls and women or emotional beings and the younger you are the harder it is to make your own well being a priority. Ths is why women suffer from loss of idenity when older. Become independent and then seek a relationship. What do you think?

 
Godswk

Asked by Godswk at 10:53 AM on Feb. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (282 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • It's important to let teenagers have experiences. Going on dates, going out with friends alone, having later curfews, having part time jobs, etc. This allows them to gain confidence in themselves, learn what they are capable of doing, learn about others and how to interact with them, etc. Again, if they don't have those experiences while they're young, then they're not going to learn about themselves and the world, and when it comes down to being on their own they're going to be completely lost. Don't hold your daughter back out of fear. Guide her into the right situations and allow her to make choices for herself. If she starts to slide off the path of education and into infatuation, then just help her back on. She needs to build her confidene, her knowledge of these experiences for herself though, otherwise it'll bite her in the ass later.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:46 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I don't see anything wrong with dating and having fun, but serious relationships should be saved for 18 and older.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 10:56 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I'm going back and forth on this. I think in theory it's a great idea to not allow dating until after highschool, but on the other hand I think that dating at 16 or so allows teens to develop some independence while they are still in their parents house and can more easily ask for advice. Once they are in college, it's harder to pick up the phone after a date than just to flop down on your parents bed and chat about things. I will definitely have strict limits on how often they are allowed to see their bf/gf, how much time they are allowed on the phone, curfew times, etc. and if they don't follow the rules, they will be grounded - no dating. But as long as it's within reason, I'm leaning towards letting my kids date at 16.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:56 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Group dates until the age of 18. No one on one time what-so-ever until after the age of 18. Period. Serious relationships, NO!

    JMO
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 10:59 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I think you've made a great decsion as a parent to not allow her to date until 17. However, I do think thats a good cut off. What will she do when she goes to college and has freedom? You don't want her to be so excited by the dating factor that she doesn't focus on college. Now is probably a good time. Talk to her about her school concerns. Ask her if she noticed that she was studying less and if that's a problem to her. Ask her how she would change that when she started dating someone else. Continue to be open and honest with her and listen. But certainly be preprared for her to date now...especially since this is an age you agreed to.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:02 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • How can she learn without the experience? At 18 you think she's ready to face issues all of a sudden that she should have faced & learned from a little at a time during those early years. As a young teen she can take steps to learn what guys are all about and learn coping skills. She can learn to recognize red flags with your help. At 18 she will be an adult and probably won't come to you for help and may end up being hurt. I'm all for kids learning gradually over their teen years so they are ready when they turn 18 to face the world and what it throws at them.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:04 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • wether they date or not she will still be thinking about boys! I dont see the harm. It will broaden her horizons!
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 11:07 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • in a way i agree, but if the child wants to date .. set some rules must get good grades, double dating or group dating, you meet the boy & his family, must be 16 or older, a curfew, & staying out of trouble. if just refuse to let her date she will rebel sneak out or see him at school.
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 11:07 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Dating as a teen (when you are old enough to drive, you are old enough to date) is the process in which we learn what we are looking for in a potential mate. Just like anything else, blindly going into a real relationship will only end in g disaster... It takes preperation, a few stumbles, a lot of learning, and even at that- there is never a guarantee. However, without any "schooling" at all, would they be able to do anything else? Could they read, write, ride a bike? No.


    I do honestly believe that dating can be a beneficial experience, if the parents can/will make their presence known, get to know the boyfriend/girlfriend, have them spend time with you- get to know them, and you'll see any true red flags, not just "I don't like this kid" syndrome. It gives parents the opportunity ti be involved in their childrens schooling regarding relationships.

    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:07 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I think dating at 16 rather than waiting till after 18 is better because it's kinda like training wheels in a sense. They are just learning how the whole dating thing works and what happens when your heart gets wrapped up in someone. And boys do get wrapped up in girls too, at least the good ones do, they don't always "date around" behind their backs. They need this time to find their independence and figure out how to be in a relationship... with you their to pick up the pieces when they do get hurt. and yeah, homework may suffer now and again, but your are there to remind them to pick up the pace and get it done. Then by the time they are in college on their own they won't feel as awkward dating for the first time.
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 11:07 AM on Feb. 24, 2010

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