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my son's dad's SO was watching my son, and he came home with diaper rash..

my son goes to his dad's every weekend (thats how we set it up in the joint agreement since i work every weekend) and this past sunday his dad's girlfriend babysat my son all day while he was working. my dad picked my son up a little earlier and when i got home from work at 7pm he was sleeping on the couch (already a no-no in my book. that means he didn't get a nap), about an hour later he woke up SCREAMING and CRYING because his balls and butt were super red. he could barely walk it hurt him so bad. what would you do in this situation??? i called my sons father and bitched at him and threatened him.. but really, is there anything else i can do? i don't want that careless bitch watching my son anymore.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Feb. 24, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (13)
  • oh and i should mention were in the process of potty training. when hes home he's in underwear ALL day. but apparently they dont care cuz they kept him in pullups.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I'd march my boy over to urgent care.... and take a zillion pictures to document it.
    Then give the benefit of the doubt it was a 1 time screw up and be prepared to fight if it happens again.... IE no alone time between her and your kiddo

    Answer by hibbingmom at 1:11 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • PS don't send pull-ups..... and if they have a stash at their house make sure they're aware pullups are causing the rash, worsening the rash, etc.

    Send your son over with his potty chair, a small stash of whatever potty training rewards you might be using (M&M's, stickers, whatever) and he might possibly then fight them if they try and stick pull ups on him

    Answer by hibbingmom at 1:13 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I don't know if there is anything you can do about it but I would be annoyed too. Maybe she is not aware of how often he needs to be checked/changed or taken to the potty and that he needs to be wiped. Hopefully after this situation has been brought to her and your ex's attention..they will both take better care of his needs. If this was her first time..i'd give her a second chance. I know it sucks..but trying to keep the peace in both households is important. try giving them the benefit of the doubt but if it keeps happening...I would suspect neglect on thier part.
    Good Luck!

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:14 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I'm sorry but you are way overreacting, rashes can happen for lots of reasons it doesn't mean she didn't take good care of him. If she is going to watch him you might want to nicely tell her all the things that you expect because potty training is hard enough, but in this case you were wrong to react that way, kids get diaper rash for lots of reasons so you cannot assume she did something to cause it. Also you don't know he didn't have a nap, they could have had an active day and he fell asleep, my DD does that when she has had a more active day even with a nap.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 1:15 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Well I can see why you are upset, but sometimes my kids get a diaper rash without warning too. So I would document this incident and then let it go. If it happens again then you can freak out.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:16 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Sometimes a diaper rash can happen for no reason, regardless of how well taken care of the child is. If this was the first time this happened, I would just calmly sit down with your ex and his SO, and explain what happened and what you think they need to do next time around. After this, if it continues to happen, I would make one visit to the dr to make sure there isn't anything wrong with your son medically that could be causing it (granted, it would be a major coincidence and I doubt it's anything medical, but that covers your butt completely) and then tell your ex that you do not want your son left with his SO anymore. If he continues to leave him with her, then you have grounds to request that the courts place an order stating that your son not be left in her care, which means your ex can then be held in contempt for leaving him with her. But I would give them one more chance, it really could have been just a fluke.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 1:35 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Take photos. Perhaps see a doctor. Document the incident: date, time, details with the photos. You may need this for reference later with either the Sheriff's Department or the court system. This is neglect.

    Explain your concerns to the father, as well as your expectations. If you want him in underwear, send him in underwear and probably a spare pair as well as pants. If you want him in Pull Ups, I strongly suggest sending extra or telling the father that he will need to provide them, but make it CLEAR AS FREAKING DAY that the pull up should be changed. Mark the pull up you send him in with a marker. If the child returns home in the same Pull Up there is an issue that needs addressed.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Document it, but there is nothing you can do unless this trend continues. If you go to the courts with a dozen or so documented incidents, you MAY be able to do something about it. But rest assured that you will make an @$$ out of yourself if you call CPS or try to go to court over ONE incident.

    I know how hard it is to imagine someone else caring for your little one, and neglecting them, but rashes also occur for reasons other than neglect. It could have been a lack of care, or it could have been a new bath product, or even a food he ate that gave him acidic BM or urine.

    Yelling and showing your butt is only going to make things worse for your son if there truly IS an issue with the girlfriend- just cool off, look at it objectively, and wait it out to see what happens. GENTLY remind them that he is potty training, and do not send pullups with him.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:42 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • WOW.... I probably would have been pissed too but for a different reason cuz I don't know my ex's girlfriend and probably would not like her for no real reason... except for she had access to my child ...... But if youu actually just take a breath you will realize your being somewhat silly. Diaper rashes can just pop up for no reason..... Give her a chance you might get along...

    Answer by Trice2529 at 8:00 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

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