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what do you think about this?

So i am 13 weeks pregnant with our second child. we havea 2 1/2 year old dd. i had mirena in since she was born and had it taken out in may of '09.with HIS approval.so i got pregnant in dec, and he was thrilled by any means. he wasnt mean, just didnt reall say anything.so i took that as just shock. thats fine. well my ist bab appt is tomorrow and hes going with me but he's not excited about it. evertime i talk about the new baby he says"can you talk about something interesting?" and wont discuss names,andyes he said he wanted another baby.hence the no bc.no condoms. he doesnt even sound excited when he tells his family members. he said "its just another bill" . im THRILLED about this new baby and everyone else is except my dh. its really starting to upset me. i asked if he will be in the room for the US and he said "SIGH..i guess so".

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Feb. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • maybe he is just really stressed about the extra cost. i think you should tell him how much it bothers you that he doesnt seem like he is going to welcome the baby. just talk, thats my advice
    Phippsandrea

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 7:33 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • i agree. i would be so mad and upset if my dh acted like that... but i bet he is just stressed about the extra expense. it is really stressful on a man to take care of the family and be responsible for providing for them. he'll come around i think. but i would tell him that it really hurts your feelings that he says these things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Have you asked him why he says these things? He may not realize how this is upsetting you. He is probably just worried. Maybe he thought it would be longer until you got pregnant.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 7:52 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Wow, it sounds like he's got something to say about it. I'd ask him and really make him tell you what's going on. Like it or not this new baby is coming and he's got to get his head on straight. You guys are not on the same page at all. He needs to tell you what he's thinking so that you can work together to resolve the problem so you can BOTH be excited about your new little blessing. Try to get him to talk, and if he won't then try to get into counseling. Something isn't right there.

    By the way CONGRATS on the new baby :)
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:01 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • He sounds like it may just be more stress on his shoulders then anything. Commuication works wonders talk with him. Let him know how your feeling and how it bothers you how his acting. TALK, talk, talk.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I would tell the asshole that if he wasn't really ready for this, then HE SHOULD HAVE SAID SO! I'm sorry but this struck a nerve... because I went through the same thing with our last baby. I then would proceed to tell him since he could not man up and tell you his true feelings, then he can at least suck it up and be there for you! It's the least he can do. His attitude is going to cause anger and resentment from you towards him and you both do not want that.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:01 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • he is acting very insensitive. u didnt get pregnant on your own. i would b angry when he says cant u talk about soimewthing interesting when u try to talk about the baby. i would bring it up if he has the nerve to make a comment lk that again. SOMETHING MUST B ON HIS MIND. i would talk to your doctor about it. maybe he can help. gl and congrats to u.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I completely agree with beckcorc...You need to get to the bottom of all of this now. Yes it's another bill but it's also the beginning of an amazing miracle... a new life that I'm sure eventually will bring you closer than you ever imagined. He was completely on board before or you would'nt be pregnant so what has changed. The stress of his behavior could wear hard on your throughout your pregnancy so figure it out....be honest with your feelings. Noone can argue with you about the way you FEEL!!! Good Luck....happy baby:0)
    mxmomma05

    Answer by mxmomma05 at 4:27 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Trust me here...get it out with him now on your feelings. If you don't, he'll hold a resentment in regards to the child. I heard my husband tell my 3 year old that he was "in debt because of you". Boy was I pissed...that was one of MANY shitty things he said to my little one and it's why I am divorcing him now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

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