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18 month old and can't go to sleep without us

My beautiful boy won't go to sleep unless we are in the room with him. We did not co-sleep, but we did rock to sleep (first child-- i have now learned my lesson for the next one, rock and put down awake!). We have been trying to break this habit by now reading, rocking, and placing him in his crib awake, but he cries when we leave the room. While i am typing this, my hubby has been up there for 35 minutes standing there and anytime he tries to leave, my little one cries and cries. I understand there is a transition, but we have been doing this for weeks now.

I am not a huge fan of crying it out, but don't even know how to go about doing that if I would decide to go that way.

Please any advice would be great.

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Asked by BLB329 at 9:35 PM on Feb. 24, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • Welll ... first I would try and give him something else familiar to sleep with for secerity. Most kids have something they use to fall asleep with as secerity, sounds like your son has you! LOL. If you do decide to go the cry it out method I would start by only letting him cry for like 5 minutes then go in there and pat/rub his back, then leave for 6 mintures, come back if still crying leave for 7 minutes... and so on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I did the crying it out with my dd but we had also coslept so it was a big change for her. Basically what I did was put her down in her crib with a stuffed animal and turn on a fan and the radio, left the door cracked a little so some light could filter in and ignored her. At the beginning she would cry for an hour or two before she became so exhausted she would just pass out. And since we slept in the same room I would have to make sure I was really quiet when I went to bed or it'd start all over again. And even then sometimes she wouldn't sleep through the night.

    It just takes some time and a LOT of patience. I'm not one that my dd cries at night really bother me so it wasn't a problem for me but if it would be for you, I recommend turning up the TV or wearing headphones.

    Either way, good luck!

    Answer by AmberBrat at 9:50 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Let's use some logic here. He feels safe and secure when mom and dad are in the room with him just like you feel safe and secure when hubby is in the room while you sleep. Being all alone in a room can be cold and scary. This is why I'm a big fan of co-sleeping. That way you can put them in their room in a bed big enough for at least one parent and the child. Then when the child is fast asleep mom or dad can get up and leave. Putting them into the crib, wakes them up. If they are in the bed sleeping and the parent leaves it is easier on everyone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • If he sleeps through the night, why can't you just stay with him while he falls asleep? It's a small time investment, and it is obviously important to him. I stay with my kids about 5 minutes. It may take longer at first, but anything worth doing requires a time investment.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 10:37 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Wow I guess I got lucky. All I have to say is "night night!" and my 18 month old runs to his crib, lifts his arms for me to put him in and thats the end of it lol. How long does it take for him to fall asleep when you are in there? Have you tried wearing him out before you put him down so he falls asleep faster?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • What works well for my son is we read a book in the chair while DS sits in his crib... after some time he lays his head down and usually falls asleep. If he is still awake... most of the time he goes to sleep, but it didn't used to be like that. We did use CIO in those cases where he would cry for us when we left and usually run to the door... but we would let him cry for a few minutes and then march him back to bed, give him a kiss and tell him to go to sleep. After awhile he knew he wasn't going to get what he wanted and would just lay down and go to sleep.
    We used the book Solve Your Childs Sleep Problems by Ferber... mostly it tells you how to change the bedtime routine so it WORKS and then there is some CIO to break old habits. We have adapted our method as he gets older and the sleep problems change... but it's a great book.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 11:37 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

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