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I want to adopt my brothers baby!

My brothers son, born premi just 4 days ago has been reported to DCF for abuse b/c his mom is on drugs. They are starting their investigation and will most likely take the baby. My husband and I want him. What do i do?


Asked by EricaPotter at 10:30 PM on Feb. 24, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • Quoting OP-"My brother does want the baby...

    I asked my brother for the baby-said no-before the state was involved (he doesn't know they are-yet)."

    I am a bit confused...if your brother is wanting the baby, HE would be FIRST on the list. Oh, wait....HIS GF has issues. Nevertheless, the state has to rule him out before other family gets involved. It's NOT first-come, first-served. They will do home studies on EVERYONE and THEN determine what is in the child's best interests....which could be you. Good luck!


    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:08 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Your brother doesn't want him? Your brother can talk to the social worker about giving you and your husband custody. If the mother and your brother will terminate rights then you can adopt him.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:33 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Talk to your brother. Explain to him that if you take care of the baby then he won't end up in the foster system. You might also want to speak to an attorney because the state has already gotten involved.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:35 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Your brother can request a relative placement for foster care, however, I would not mention adoption. Even IF the mother is not allowed to raise the child (waaaaaay too early to tell) your brother may; you do not know what treatment, classes they may undergo and be allowed to have the baby back.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 11:02 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • They probably won't be able to take the baby away just because a mother is on drugs. What most people don't realize is that smoking during pregnancy is worse than using crack. A good lawyer knows that. In some states a forth of all pregnant women admit smoking during pregnancy. The state can't take a forth of all babies away. In Indiana over half of all babies go home to a home where someone smokes, where someone smoked while the woman was pregnant.

    If the state isn't going to take babies away because of smoking then they can have a hard time taking babies away because of drugs. Instead of trying to take your brother's baby away you should help him fight to keep it and give him and his wife any help you can with raising the baby.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:18 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Gailll, while smoking is definitely not good during pregnancy, it isn't against the law. However, doing drugs while pregnant and having the baby born addicted IS against the law, & the child most like is removed.

    OP-I do agree that your heart may be in the right place, but the timing may not be. Is your brother not considered qualified to ake the baby?

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 3:05 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • My brother does want the baby...his girlfriend does not, & has 2 other kids that she is not allowed to see currently (court ordered). Both are on Roxy's, living in a motel, have noting for the baby-no clothes, carseat (or even a car), nothing. No steady employment. History in and out of jail. The hospital nurses made the call to DCF. Social worker assigned. I asked my brother for the baby-said no-before the state was involved (he doesn't know they are-yet). His GF's friend also wants the baby. I have talked to the social worker, they know we are a family option. We absolutely want the baby! What steps do we take? I'm looking for experience, not just opinion here please. We feel completely called and will not be moved. Advice appreciated. Thanks.

    Answer by EricaPotter at 11:30 PM on Feb. 25, 2010