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should i let him play with sumone besides me?

before me and my hubby got married he let me play around with a couple of people and didnt have a problem with it. he wants me to allow him the same thing but should i? he cheated on me with his ex when the baby was 2 weeks old but i dont know should i allow him the chance to play with another woman? i dont feel comfortable with it but what is your guys opinion. i keep telling him just becaue he has let me do these things and i agreed that i dont have to let him do it back i need help guys.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Feb. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Hmmm... well, because he has proved that he is untrustworthy by cheating on you before, I woudln't allow it. If he had never cheated (and I was comfortable with it) I probably would I'm not someone who's built for this type of thing, but this doesn't sound like a healthy swap to me, it sounds like he just wants to sleep around on you, and he will one way or another.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:09 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • When you are married, playing around w/ others IS cheating. Just because you know it doesn't make it different that the time w/ his ex. Why would you feel comfortable w/ it? You have a right to be his one and only. If that wasn't what you wanted you would have never gotton married.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 11:09 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • It sounds like this relationship had issues from the start and from the looks of it, either way he is going to be having sex with other women whether you like it or not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Your marriage sounds like a giant train wreck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • He's polite enough to ask. It's better than him doing it without being honest with you. I do it with mine and it makes things stronger between us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Yikes! Someone call Maury or Jerry Springer! It sounds to me like you two should not have married. You both have issues with fidelity.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I wouldn't allow it either! Unfortunately, you did it to him before you were married!! Was he your boyfriend then? Honestly, cheating is not good and I wouldn't have ever done that to my man. You should not allow him to do it to you now and he shouldn't have cheated on you when your baby was so young...or EVER for that matter! What a strange relationship you had!! So the problem is now, if you tell him that he may not sleep with another woman (or whatever playing he's doing) he is probably going to do it anyway. He doesn't sound like the best person to be in a relationship with! Good luck!

    Answer by Hunter817 at 11:28 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • throwing upUm No, you need to get rid of the SOB. Do you really want this kind of trash in your life?


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • I say if your not comfortable then say no. But I also think you opened the door when you did it before you were married. I think he will do it with or without your permission. It seems like he just wants to be up front with you before he does it. I was always told to begin the marriage the way you intend to go on. My mom told me don't wait on your man hand and foot in the begining and think you can stop a few years down the line and not hear about it. This seems very similar; the rules of your marriage are already defined with infidelity included. Its kind of hard to exclude it now. The both of you need to sit down and talk about what you each are expecting out of the relationship. Then you have to decide if you are willing to live with what he tells you...

    Answer by MokaMommy at 11:31 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

  • Some people can be so judgmental. . . My advise is if you feel comfortable with it fine. . . but you need to be treated the way you want and deserve. My fear is that he is not treating you well due to history. . . But it is not my relationship it is yours. . . Lord knows mine is not perfect. . . GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Feb. 24, 2010

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