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Is this considered cheating? Whats your opinion?

So this guy & i've been dating for a few months, everything's been like heaven. He went home on vacation for a few weeks & in that time asked me to move in with him. The lease to my place was also almost up & I was at his place most of the time anyways, my things at his place etc

Now that we've been living together a month, I found out while he was on vacation he was sleeping with 3 other girls

I thought all along we were in a relationship I mean we never said "HEY WE ARE EXCLUSIVE" yet in those 4 months dating neither of us was sleeping with anyone else, and I def understood we were serious ESPECIALLY if he asked me to move in with him!! Well, i also found out, & he admitted that he even slept with some chick 3 nights before he came home to me. he wants me to still stay. I can if I knew for sure he isn't a "cheater" he says he didn't see us as "exclusive" & he was planning on being "exclusive" when he got back to me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • PS. And yes, I didn't hint or ask him for a place, things were going so perfect, I didn't even bother hinting to "rock the boat". Moving in with him was his idea, he brought it up and asked me to while he was gone. He was gone a month, asked me to move in a wk after he was gone...and the wkend before he came home I moved in. So it was UNDERSTOOD for 3 1/2 wks that I had agreed and was moving in...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • WHAT?!?!?!? Are you kidding me? Yes that is cheating. I would worry that I'd catch something from him if I were you! What? Did he have to get a few more in before you became exclusive? He had already asked you to move in with him, that sounds pretty exclusive, then he goes and sleeps with other people? He wants to be serious enough to move in together, but didn't plan on calling it exclusive until he got home? If I were you, I'd never be able to develope trust for him. I would end that relationship. What other excuses will he come up with later? Oh, I slept with her because we're not married yet and I thought it was ok? NO!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Yes, that is cheating. Get a new guy and move out!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but I would consider that cheating. That's not fair that he's asking you to move in, then sleeping with girls behind your back. He obviously didn't tell you until he got home because he knew it was wrong. You sound like you were happy with him, but this isn't a good sign if its this early in the relationship that he's giving you mixed signals. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • So as you're moving into his house he was in bed with another girl? Yes, that's cheating in my opinion.

    Did he get caught, or did he outright admit all of this to you, like he didn't think it would be an issue?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • yeah that is cheating , I love his I was on vacation excuse that is such BS next thing you know it will be the, well you were asleep or at the grocery store excuse. you dont ask someone to move in and then say you wont be exclusive till 3 weeks later after your vacation lol that is just insane!

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:15 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I agree, it's cheating. If you didn't have an "understanding" saying that you weren't exclusive aka you had an open relationship then it's just assumed that you're exclusive when you ask someone to move in!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • The girls myspaced me...yeah drama...I wasn't gonna say anything just blow it off then once the thought was in my mind, I had to know. So I went thro his phone...that confirmed it all texts like 'You going home with that guy? BEcause you know I'll be happy to f*ck you anytime you want" and to another number "So why did you leave? Did me being so hard for you scare you you didn't want round two?" and to another number "So you're gonna miss my penis when I leave huh?" etc things like that a replys confirmed my fears, and then I asked him. He admitted to it and his reply was "I WAS planning on being exclusive with you when I got back" I replied with "Well, I wasn't told, hey move in with me, and while you do that I'm going to screw around for 3 wks and then get back to you and all of a sudden be exclusive" as I told him "No girl in her right mind would move in with someone under the impression of a relationship, knowing that "

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Op again, and he says that we had "differnt" opinions and views. I do come from a pretty conservative home, which is why I posted the question on here, whither or not I'm being fair to have a problem with it or not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Yeah, he sounds like a complete shithead. You should do better for yourself and find a good guy that is actually trustworthy because if he's like this in the beginning of a relationship (when most couples are crazy for eachother) then I'd hate to see how he acts when times are actually tough.

    You have more than enough reason to have an issue here, but I'm sure deep down you already know that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 AM on Feb. 25, 2010

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