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i want to adopt anyone with experience or words of advice?

Hi im already a stay at home mommy of 3 kids, 6yr old, 2yrold and 3yr old. im a great multitasker and i love love love kids. I have always known since i was 9yrs old when i saw commercials on tv about kids that need homes that i wanted to adopt, but i also knew i wanted kids of my own and recently i really beleave in my heart that that is what God wants me to do. My husband has a vesectomy now do to with my last child i almost bleed to death, and i recently suffered a brain bleed due to high blood presure but got surgery and im 100%, but i know now more than ever i want an adoptive child, i don't know if i want to do it now or when my kids are teenagers im waiting for Gods sign to when, but the very thought gives me happy chills. i want to adopt a 0-6yr old boy or girl. How do i go about this, how long does it take, and how much money? and any other info and advice. thank you sooooooo much

 
dkej242

Asked by dkej242 at 12:07 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Adoption

Level 2 (1 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • My advice, is allow GOD to present the "right time":) Also read through the Q&A, current postings as well as past, in the closed questions, and the open questions....you will learn alot. However if you wish to truly KNOW more about ADOPTION....ask a person who was adopted, and ask a First Mother/ Natural Mother. There is nothing more enlightening than going straight to the source. Lets not forget, there are many many good Moms whom have adopted on here, but alot of people will answer 'ANON', just be very weiry of SOME of those...if they can't discuss things openly and feel a need to hide...well doesn't really say alot for their opinions, JMHO! Remember, ADOPTION, is for a child whom has NO ONE to love them....NOT for a couple whom need a child to love:) Blessings, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 12:23 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Hey. I'm planning to adopt within the next few months. We are adopting through the foster care system because we feel those children need homes the most instead of doing a domestic adoption with a newborn. Anyways, we're doing the classes now and then we will proceed.Also, the cost is entirely free, unlike alot of other adoptions where you can spend 50,000 for a child. I personally don't have that kind of money just sitting around, but with that being the case, it doesn't mean we can't afford to take care of a child. If you feel like it's something you want to do and can afford and you think you want more children, then I'd say go ahead. How does your husband feel about it? Is it something that he wants to do as well? I agree to check out all the options. We called several different adoption agencys before we decided to adopt from foster care.
    PeytonsMom21109

    Answer by PeytonsMom21109 at 12:37 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • There are so many different routes to take in adoption...
    1.) Foster-adopt- done through your county/state- little to no fees. Each state has different laws and requirements.
    2.) DIA- Domestic Infant Adoption- done through an agency or attorney.. can be open, semi-open or closed. Many fees, requirements, and again state laws vary.
    3.) Embryo adoption- done through an agency.. I don't know much about this route at all.
    4.) International- done through an agency, many fees and requirements. 4 layers of government to work with..

    It is vital that you do a ton of research.. it should include attachment, bonding, SID, SPD, and RAD as well as the different routes. I would also speak with adoptees as they are the voice that is most silenced in adoption.
    I am an adoptive mother and if I may I will offer you one small piece of advice- be very mindful when referring to children as "your own". Once you adopt, that child is your own.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 4:05 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Continued...
    It is common for those not involved in the triad to refer to a child that is biological as "their own", but that actually devalues an adopted child and how they could perceive their place in the family. Sorry, that is my biggest pet peeve.. I detest hearing that phrase as it makes it seem as if an adopted child is "less than" a biological child. I have one of each and they are equal in our family...
    If you have any specific questions let me know.. we adopted internationally.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 4:10 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Mcginnisc, thanks from me for your comment on 'one of their own'. Not ever being able to EVER live up to my aps desire for a child of their own with blood ties was a constant challange that I never could master. As hard as I tried, it would never be so.

    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 6:46 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I'd wait until your youngest is about 4 before you start. Start doing your research and talking with your husband and family about it. But you want the children already in your home to keep their place in the birthorder so if you're looking for a 0-6 year old, you'll want them you younger than your youngest.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 8:41 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I would highly recommend you wait a few years until your children are older, then become foster parents!!! Adoption is such a roller coaster, foster care is the easiest and cheapest route! You have already been blessed with 3 little ones... let the couples that cannot conceive fight over the newborns!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Anon 8:20pm - "....let the couples that cannot conceive fight over the newborns!!!"


    confusedI'm not sure what to make of this......

    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 1:21 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • If you are interested in adopting or fostering, I highly recommend you talking to other foster/adopt parents. There are good groups on here and you can see a lot of blessings & issues that you might have....in advance... by researching now. I'd also advise you taking the foster parenting classes. Whether or not you choose to foster now or wait, adopt now or wait. the knowledge that you gain will change how you look at every child you ever meet again. (Including the 3 you have now.) You might EASE into FC by doing respite care for other foster families at first. Adopting thru foster care isn't the most popular, nor the fastest, but can be very rewarding. You do have to think of the needs of the 3 you have now and balance that with the "special" needs that foster children may have. You and your DH have to be on the same page for these classes, so wait until you BOTH say YES. In our house, one Yes means No. Two Yes's mean YES.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 1:30 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • i deffinitly intend to wait till the Lord says it is the right time, probuly when my youngest is 10yrs old. I don't care the age, sex, or race, im open to all my options, im open only to helping the special child that needs me. This is not about me it is about the child.
    dkej242

    Answer by dkej242 at 3:17 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

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