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What would you think?

My husband and I have slowly been getting our marriage back on track. A lil less than a year ago he cheated on me with a younger girl at work. Well today he went to the apartment we are moving out of to clean it up and move more stuff and a man called that interviewed him yesterday to talk to him asap. So i called my mother at work and asked her to run by the apartment, and her place (we are storing stuff there temp.) on her lunch. So she calls me back to say that she went by both places and hes not there. I don't know what to do. I can't think of anywhere else he needed to go. We have absolutely no money for him to stop off somewhere. And since i have the kids I have the cell phone. So now i'm just stuck here worrying what he's doing.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think if you're getting your marriage back on track, you have to give him some leeway. I wouldn't worry about it but ask when he gets back. Oh yeah, having people spy on him probably isn't a great idea either. Just sayin.
    heatheryn

    Answer by heatheryn at 12:53 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • She wasn't spying! I said i had her go over there after i got the call about the interview. I want him to call asap like the man said cuz this job would be perfect for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope your marriage is able to be fixed.
    I can understand the paranoid thoughts that are probably racing through your mind. Try to stay calm, there is a chance that he just ran out for a bit or perhaps she had just missed him as he was leaving one place to head to the next?
    SabrinaLC

    Answer by SabrinaLC at 12:56 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • If you both are honestly going to move forward and put your marriage back on track then you have to trust him and not question his every move. Otherwise it's never going to work.
    On the flip side, if he says he is going to be somewhere, he needs to be there. If he is going to be somewhere else, then it is just common courtesy to let you know he is going to be somewhere else for a bit. Running to the store for something to drink or a bite to eat doesnt constitute a phone call, but being gone for longer than an hour would I would say.
    Maybe he had just gone to run a quick errand. Give him the benefit of the doubt first.
    Melindakc

    Answer by Melindakc at 1:09 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I would think that men seem to be able to take 3 hours for something that takes us 1. Relax and wait for him to get home. I bet his answer is completely plausible and you feel feel better. I stress myself out like this too and my hubby has never let me down.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • The answer could be simple, maybe he was on his way from one place to the other and just missed your mom. Don't freak out until you hear an explanation, but do ask about it and see what your gut tells you when he responds. You are in a tough situation because your husband has hurt you in the past but you are trying to rebuild things for the future as well. I'm sure it isn't easy for you to just give him the benefit of the doubt considering the past, but try not to jump to conclusions. See what the explanation is, and then decide if you believe it and go from there. Good luck!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:05 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • While I understand why you would freak, it's possible that he was heading from one place to the other and they just missed each other. I would not freak out yet. Give him a chance to explain. The best way, imo, to do this w/o accusing or making it sound like you were spying or doing anything wrong is to say, "hey, that guy called about the interview. I asked mom to swing by and let you know so you could call him back, but she said she must have missed you at the apartment and her house. Hope it's not too late to call him back." See what his reaction is. If he was up to something he shouldn't have been, you'll likely see some sort of negative reaction, or shocked look, or something. If he wasn't up to anything, he'll probably tell you he was in between places, or he stopped for gas, or whatever it is he must have been doing.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:54 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Call the OW and ask her if he's there
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • i would say just talk about it and set up boundaries, i hate when people say you just have to trust him, no you don't, trust takes a long time to be rebuilt. me and my husband are still working on ours. each relationship is different. so if you believe he would just run off for some nookie then you will have to talk to him about it. first of all ask him what he was doing, if you don't feel like his answer is helping your trust then tell him that when he is not where he says he is gonna be then your trust level doesn't improve.
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 3:40 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • If it were me, I would probably get in the car and go look for him myself. I wouldn't be able to sit and wait. Then again, I'm not sure if I could handle being in your situation. Good luck

    Alizzie_Mom

    Answer by Alizzie_Mom at 4:20 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

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