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bad mother in law? what to do??

ok my mil took my son yesterday. its only suppossed to be for two nights. i do not like it when my son is away from his parents for long. there's just no need. Anywho she called me this morning telling me she's keeping him for a week and a half and possibly taking him to disney land. I live in Mesa Az she lives in Prescott. i do not want my two year old going out of state without his father or myself. I spoke with hubby about it and he tells me to just let them "do their thing". I.m stuck. I only allowed him to be gone for two nights and that turned into a longer while. Mu Hubby insist i just feel thisw way because i'm seven months pregnant. But i miss my son, final. (also my MIL will not call or text me updates. She will not answer her phone, or anything when she has our son) What on earth should i do? should i say something or just listen to my husband? What would u do thnx ladies for your time.


Asked by shorty_18 at 2:11 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You definitely need to talk to your husband. It's not just that you're pregnant. I think you were generous to let her have your son for an overnight visit, but she shouldn't inform you she's keeping him. My kids are grown, 18, 20 & 27. I'm looking forward to grandchildren soon. I also would have loved to have a MIL who took my children even for an hour when they were young. However, I hope I never overstep boundaries the way it sounds like your MIL has. I'd never have let my boys be gone out of state or that long in state when they were small. I also would expect to talk to them every day, & for my MIL to answer my calls, texts, while she had my child!

    If someone did this to me, it'd probably be the last time I trusted them with my child. Grandparents are important to a child, especially loving grandparents, but the bottom line is....this is your child, & she needs to respect you, & your husband needs to support you!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:29 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I think it is illegal for someone who is not the guardian of a child to take them out of state without a parents permission. "doing her thing" should not include taking your kid for over a week longer than agreed upon. Your son is not prepared for a vacation, you are not prepared for him to be gone for so long. This seems really f-ed up to me. I would call your mil and tell her matter-of-factly how she is making you feel. It will be uncomfortable, but its your son. I would be beyond pissed off if my mil EVER tried to do anything this outrageous.
    Also, tell your husband how you feel. He needs to respect what you want and how you feel. He may think that you secretly want a break from your son. If this is not the case, tell him.

    Answer by bloomsr at 2:15 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • How's that make her a bad mother in law? You're the one who let your child go for the day or two! Yes, there's no need for it....but you are the one who made it seem like not so big of a deal for your child to be with her for the day or two! You're the mother!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Hum that's hard if it we're me I wouldn't let her do it if you don't feel comfortable with it. Beside isn't he a little to young for disney.

    Answer by momtoPMCandJNC at 2:16 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Either go get your son Or tell the MIL to bring hi\m home NOW. Your child, your rule. F**k what DH wants.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:18 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • None of my kids have been to Disneyland yet. I would tell her no, and that you and your husband want to be there to share his first Disneyland experience with him. I would leave an open invitation for when your family goes, that she'll be invited also.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • well think of it like this...and trust me i have the same issues with my MIL... but if it was your mother would you be as sketchy about not seeing your son for a few days? when i do that, i usually end up saying yes to the situation because i hardly ever say no my own mother. Tell your husband to call her and explain to her that this is the first time he will be away for a long period of time and that she needs needs needs to answer her phone and get back to you with updates. But other than that, take a break and enjoy your "days off" and alone time with hubby

    Answer by mariisasmommy at 2:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • thanks ladies... and anon- thats his grandmother. I only agreed for two days and she called me sfter she had alreay left. no need to get snappy. Anywho i will call her and tell her half a week at most because i just took into consideration what mariisasmommy had to say. That is very true. and thanks for all the advice!!!!

    Answer by shorty_18 at 2:32 PM on Feb. 25, 2010