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My almost - 3 year old, holy crap!

What is up with him? He throws fits over everything. He had a booger hanging out of his nose and I wiped it away and starting crying and screaming that it was his booger. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! He keeps screaming "no" at me and everything is HIS, he'll scream no at me and point his finger at me and at times will poke me in the face while he's doing it. I've tried talking to him, I've spanked him, I've given time outs, nothing works. All he ever says is "no", to everything. He does things he knows is bad and stuff I don't like. What do I do? I need to get him to behave better!


Asked by TruckersWife426 at 2:14 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (9)
  • Your job isn't to control his screaming or his fits. He's testing things out, he doesn't think on the same level we do. You cannot ration with a 3 year old. Just wont work.

    Always be consistent with whatever you do. If he's screaming, ignore it, give him no reaction, turn your face if you have to. If he doesn't get a reaction out of you, you're not feeding him the fuel. Spanking in this case feeds the fuel.

    Time outs if they don't work.. even more reason to let him scream his little heart out right in front of you, as you go on about what you're doing. Eventually after consistently giving no reaction to him for his screaming, he'll stop. It may take a while, but in the end is worth the quiet.

    Also if he has a certain toy, or activity that he loves, take it away for a short time frame. When he doesn't scream about his burger, or about something he normally would have screamed about... TELL him.. you're being so good.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 2:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • stick to your punishments and dont give in or stop even if it seems to not be working - it has to be a consistant consequense
    plus - i think the terrible 3's are way worse than the 2's lol
    good luck!

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 2:18 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • sounds like he is just hitting the terrible "2's" lol, srry. try and give him a lot of attention when he is being good, but other than that, ignore his bad behavior. if u make a scene about him screaming or whatever he does, he will continue to do it. my dd went thru this not to long ago. i finally listened to what other told me and ignored her when she threw herself on the ground in a fit. once she realized i didnt care, she stopped. also one thing that made her mad and made her stop was mimicking what she was doing. she thougth i was crazy. and i just said to her "now u kno what a fool u look like" (in 2 yr old speak tho) good luck

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 2:19 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I see my future in your story,, wahhhhhhh

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Welcome to the terrible twos!!

    Answer by threeeunder3 at 2:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Your're disciplining him in too many different ways. Do time outs be consistent once decided on follow through. Like governments say sometimes to terrorists - we don't negotiate. In a way our little kids as beautiful as they are, hold our hearts hostage.

    I disciplined pretty good with my two older kids pretty good but when my youngest came, she suckerpunched me in my soul being my youngest and discipline went down the toilet along with a few other things here and there. It was hard work but finally I realized she needed more discipline. Years later I still have to be tough but things are way better than before.

    Answer by lfl at 2:23 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Well first maybe have him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. There might be an underlying cause. Then lay your foot down and don't feed into his behaviors. Simply walk away from him. If he screams remind him he needs to use his inside voice and walk away. Ignore the behavior because I think he's only screaming because you react to it. If he pokes you in the face he loses a privledge. Whether it's a favorite toy or TV program or whatever, but again ignore his response as he'll most likely yell. BUT do not under any circumstances go back on the punishment. If you said no TV then no TV. If he wants to tantrum about it out him somewhere relatively safe so he doesn't hurt himself and leave him there. Good luck!!

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 2:23 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • In addition to what I said above:

    If there's ever a time he doesn't scream or say no when he normally would, that is an excellent time for you to reward him. Say I really like when you don't scream, I really like when you ask nicely, I really like how good you're being. It makes me happy. Reward good behavior, especially if you want to weed out the bad. He'll see that it benefits him more to behave.

    Maybe buy a sticker chart, or all a dollar trinkets, and if he's good for the whole day give him one. or start it slow, if he doesn't throw a a tantrum give him one.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 3:01 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Why immediately jump to developmental problems? He's a kid, that's what kid's that age do. That is just silly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Feb. 25, 2010