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what do you think the real reason is? cheating and morals

morals are those things that tell us this is bad don't do it. could it be that cheaters just don't think they are wrong or they just tell that little voice that says don't do it to be quiet. I wonder how they convince themselves that it is ok.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Morals are external. We're not born with them, we have to be taught. And it's VERY easy to ignore what you're taught.

    To the first anon...I'm pretty sure Elin Woods would be happy to beat you over the head with one of her husband's nine irons.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • For goodness sakes, doesn't ANYONE read anymore? This has been discussed over and over. There was a book written by a man who did a scientific study of men who cheat and it's BECAUSE the WIFE doesn't fulfill his emotional needs at home. She doesn't show him appreciation. READ THE BOOK. It's not about morals. If it were then the wife would be the sinful one not being a good wife so HER morals would be in question for pushing him into the bed of another woman.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • BTW, the book is called WHY MEN CHEAT. Read it

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Oh wow, first sure are a misogynist!
    Men cheat because of their own character flaws - if they made a commitment and took a VOW (for better or for worse, etc), and then they BROKE that vow, that is on THEM.

    Also, plenty of men cheat on their "perfect" wives all the time! In most cases, it has nothing to do with the women.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Why men cheat is because they know how to find women who ALLOW it! If my husband ever cheated on me, he would be kicked to the curb so fast hed get whiplash in the process--THEN I would take him for everything he had and then some! There would be no "second chances!"

    Answer by LoriKeet at 3:35 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I think most of them don't think they'll get caught and the only source of guilt / shame / pain for them would be being revealed. They might feel remorse for hurting their wife/gf/dh/SO but they should think about that before they do it and I honestly think they normally don't. They know it's WRONG but they feel thrilled by doing something wrong until they get caught. If they never get caught they may end it on their own, but they also may just keep it going and going.

    And I call BS on the "keep the man happy he won't stray" thing. Some men/women just have wandering hearts. The OP was talking about either sex straying not just men.

    I blame a wandering heart and the inability to realize guilt/pain/shame BEFORE being caught for something. It's not usually a total lack of morals.. I think they just ignore it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Ignoring Anon 2:29 and moving on.

    Women AND Men cheat for a lot of different reasons. People cheat because they don't want to lose what they have if what they go after doesn't work out. People cheat, because they want more then what they have, etc. None of it justifies that they're cheating, but they find reasons to try to justify it anyhow. It isn't about not having morals, or not having a concious. It's about excusing themsevles out of it to make it right. "Honey, you pushed me to cheat. If you'd have sex with me more it wouldn't have come to that." EXCUSE. "Honey, I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing." EXCUSE. Every single excuse is just a way to justify their wrong doing, but none of it ever justifies it at all.

    It amazes me how the topic of cheating goes straight to the shoulders of men, but women cheat too. Just as much and neither of it again can be justified.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • To Anon :29 - you are an EFFIN IDIOT. So I suppose when I married my first husband, and I did everything in the world for him, cleaned 24/7, worked and paid the bills, had a child and raised her, gave him sex anytime he wanted and was great at it, and yet he STILL BEAT ME on a regular basis and cheated at every given opportunity, it was MY FAULT? HE doesn't have to take any responsibility for his actions?!?! Once again, you are an idiot! I agree that 1) not all men cheat and 2) the ones that do cheat do it because they can get away with it, even if their wife/gf finds out, the woman accepts it or turns their head and pretends it isn't happening, so the man does it. I have grown wiser in my years and I absolutely will not tolerate disrespect, lying, or cheating. I would be out the door so fast his head would spin and he wouldn't know what had happened to him. I do NOT work that out.

    Answer by TarLion at 4:49 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • My dad cheated on my mom because he was a jerk and he was very self absorbed. I think most who cheat are self absorbed and want everything to be about them at all times.

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 5:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2010