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Why do I get dirty looks from older moms??

I am 27 and though I may look a lot younger, I think I am old enough to be a mom I am married and responsible. Maybe not as a mature as a forty year old but then again some forty year olds are not as mature as a 27 year old. Maybe I am just being hard on myself, or imagining it, but by the end of a grocery trip I am exhausted from peoples dirty looks. My kids are very good and quiet, my trick is bringing snacks. Does anyone else feel this way???

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emleejanedom

Asked by emleejanedom at 5:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in About CafeMom

Level 12 (910 Credits)
Answers (52)
  • You seem to have some self-esteem issues; the looks (and comments) from strangers should be meaningless to you. You may want to ask your health care provider for a referral to a therapist who specializes in women your age.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:25 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • You seem to have some self-esteem issues; the looks (and comments) from strangers should be meaningless to you. You may want to ask your health care provider for a referral to a therapist who specializes in women your age.

    i agree
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I dont think i need therapy, could be self esteem, I will work on it. I just expect more from people than what I should I smile and wave and talk to everyone I meet so i think I need to learn not to take it so hard. thank you for your advice. It doesnt happen all the time either, just about every other trip, but some people are pretty obvious, like one lady glarring at my son one time who is 3 and was crying because he wanted to put this huge glass thing on the conveyor belt at the check out and I wasnt playing into it, this lady was huffing and rolling her eyes.
    emleejanedom

    Answer by emleejanedom at 5:33 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Pretty harsh comments up there.... Wow. Yeah I get the looks too. I'm 25 with kids under 5. I don't care though. I had an old lady giving my awful looks because my middle son hated being in the store when he was a baby so he was screaming. I was trying to calm him but nothing was working. I got sick of her giving the dirty looks and she kinda started walking away like I was disturbing her shopping, so I chased her around with my crying baby, I was with my mom, we both got a great laugh. Screw them, it's your life. Give them dirty looks back, lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I meant to say 3 kids under 5, sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • im 26... and i agree with you. im out of college. as is my husband. and we are financially stable and have a nice house. i just look young and i think it is bc i am so small. i am 5'3 and weigh about 98lbs. i have a 19 mnth old and 5 mnth old. and the lady who checked me out at the grocery store the other day said "oh they arent yours are they... you must not even be out of high school". i said yes they are mine, and im well out of college, and smiled. she said "oh, well good for you". i try not to let it bother me... but it still does. especially when i am the youngest out of all the other moms. but i know that some of the older moms feel out of place too. so just try not to let it get to you. and no ... i do not think youre insecure or self absorbed. i previously made a similar post and got some rude responses like that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Wow. Yeah I get the looks too. I'm 25 with kids under 5. I don't care though. I had an old lady giving my awful looks because my middle son hated being in the store when he was a baby so he was screaming. I was trying to calm him but nothing was working. I got sick of her giving the dirty looks and she kinda started walking away like I was disturbing her shopping, so I chased her around with my crying baby

    mature... very mature.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Wow. Yeah I get the looks too. I'm 25 with kids under 5. I don't care though. I had an old lady giving my awful looks because my middle son hated being in the store when he was a baby so he was screaming. I was trying to calm him but nothing was working. I got sick of her giving the dirty looks and she kinda started walking away like I was disturbing her shopping, so I chased her around with my crying baby

    mature... very mature.




    hahaha this one made me laugh! ill be sure to do the same the next time i get a look from a mean old lady! well i am 20 years old, married and financially stable with 1 child. I have actually never got a dirty look and if i have im too proud to notice it. Im proud to say my age and that i am a married mommy and going to school! dont let it bother you! i hate judgemental ppl
    mariisasmommy

    Answer by mariisasmommy at 6:08 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I think you're likely imagining most of it. The majority of people are focused on what they need to do and can't be bothered noticing other shoppers. You walk around looking for this kind of thing then EVERY glance you get you are going to think is for that reason.
    You and your life choices really don't matter to people as much as you seem to think they do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I look pretty young too. I'm going to be 30 though. I think its because I go shopping in yoga clothes. Right now I'm pregnant and I have a 20 month old. Older woman will look at my DD, then my belly and then my ring finger. I have a beautiful engagement ring and band but its not something I wear everyday. So now to make myself feel better, I wear it to the grocery store. I wish it didn't bother me. My DH and I have an on going joke that I must put on my "I'm not a whore ring".

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 6:19 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

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