Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you have talked to his teacher?

today when I was waiting to pick up ds from school he came out got in the truck and broke down in tears..I asked what happened and he was like too embarrassed to tell me then finally I got it out of him some brat girl was spreading it around class that he likes this one girl and the whole class was teasing him about it even though he told them over and over to knock it off..ds is very shy he's at that stage being 12 and in 6th grade...I called his teacher it was evident he didn't tell her a thing cuz she knew nothing of it but all that came out of it was I'll talk to the girls but I won't be here tomorrow so I'll leave a note for the sub grrr...this is what pisses me off about public school they say there is 0 tolerence for bullying but yet he's come home bullied over and over...just pisses me off.

Answer Question
 
chica679

Asked by chica679 at 6:15 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 16 (2,792 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If the school has a zero tolerance policy towards bullying, then you need to contact the school administration and insist that they follow through.

    Be an advocate for you child, and let him know that you are there for him!!

    Good luck!!
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:47 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Really? Tell him to suck it up, that's life. It's not like they were beating him up. Teach him to stick up for himself!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Yeah, i think he needs to toughen up a little. If it was really that blatant of teasing, I find it hard to believe that teachers would not be aware of it. I am not saying that it is right, but my SD gets teased for things like that and she gets over it. Occassionally she has more trouble with things, but that is when we go and talk to the teacher, take steps to seperate her from the issues and have even considered talking to the school counselor, but she has improved her ability to deal with school interactions. You need to teach him ways to handle these things without some authority figure taking care of it for him. It won't solve the problem for him. You or the school will not be there for the rest of his life. If you dont have good ideas I would actually be talking with the school counselor. A teacher has little options but to talk to the kids. I dont understand what you expected the teacher to do.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:51 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • :13 Anon....THAT IS OUT OF LINE!!! And you apparently don't have any preteen boys!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • anon51....i dont think she was out of line....preteen boys shouldnt be any worse than preteen girls, and my SD has been learning how to deal with these things for the past year and a half. Her mother and I have been by her side supporting her and talking with the school, but we have also worked with her to improve her skills in handling conflict on her own.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:54 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • The school's guidance couselor should handle it NOT the teacher. Call the school first thing in the AM and talk to the couselor....that's what their job is. Dealing with situations like this.
    And teasing and bullying should never continue. As for telling her that her child needs to toughen up...he's a 12 yr old puberty ridden middle school boy. There is time for him to "man-up" way later in life.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:55 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Kids have teased others forever. My mom taught me to either laugh at them or ignore them. Bullies want the reaction they get (him getting upset). If he doesn't give them the reaction they want they will stop. It might take a couple of times but teach him now how to handle situations like this bc it will happen a lot in life. I think it's best to teach him coping skills than depending on a teacher who may not even care.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:49 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • That's not bullying. It's teasing. Kids tease each other. Instead of handling it for your son, you should teach him how to handle it. He's going to get teased. He needs the social skills to deal with it.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 9:11 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • If he didn't react they would not have continued to bother him. He should not have told them OVER and OVER. He should have ignored them. Were you never a teenager? Do you not know how this works? I guess not since you don't see the difference between bullying and teasing. One involves a threat. Roll play with him other things he could have said. Practice until he gets comfortable. Your kid needs to work on his social skills not run to the teacher. Of course the teacher never should have even suggested letting a sub handle such a situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN