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just support....no criticism plz

I did the hardest thing I've ever had to face...Make the man I love and father of our unborn baby leave. We have been going threw a rough year and alot of trust issues let alone everytime we broke it off for a week he ran back to his ex he was with for 4 mths. We had our last fight and all I did was asked him to prove to me he hasn't been talking to her by showing me his online phone log. He said no that he shouldn't have to..and it won't make a difference but loves me and wants to work. That hurt me to know he couldn't even be a man and show me the truth. I have to stick to my guns this time but by god it's gonna hurt...its gonna crush me but I can't take the arguments and no trust anymore... I am scared I'm not going to be able to do this and attempt to call...please lend some support.. why does it kill me?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • It hurts because his line about he should have to prove it to you, makes you question your instincts. Go with your instincts and kick the jerk to the curb. If he had nothing to hide he would have shown you the phone log...
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 7:54 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • Just think, if you DO continue this relationship, then you'll be dealing with the emotional turmoil ON TOP OF late pregnancy challenges (upset emotions do affect your hormones, and hormones can trigger an early labor before the baby is fully finished in the womb)

    And the incredible stress of a newborn (along with all the love and joy) is hard enough when the couple have a rock-solid relaitionship, when you KNOW you can lean on your husband and he will jump through fire for you, and he will look past it when you get bitchy.

    And to crown it all, would you rather be breaking up with him AFTER your baby has become attached to him, so that your break-up is not only difficult for YOU, but is also damaging your young child's emotional health for the rest of life?!

    You already made one mistake by having sex with a man you were not married to, don't add the mistake of letting your child love someone who WON'T be there for him!
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 8:09 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • hugs

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:28 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • It hurts because change is hard. But you did the RIGHT THING. Stick to your guns.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:48 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • It hurts because you love him. And you are having a baby with him and you guys were supposed to be one big happy family. Instead he was a jerk and broke your heart. I am so so sorry. Hang in there for your baby, you will find strength you never knew you had. Hugs!!!
    SweetPea05

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 11:29 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • It hurts because you love the man that you wish he was, and the man that you know he could be. It hurts because you know that he's CHOOSING to not be that man, and that hurts, because it shows that he would rather hurt you and betray you than step up to the plate.

    BUT, the thing is, this is going to hurt either way - whether you tell him to leave or whether you take him back, and put up with him cheating on you. The difference is, the hurt from him leaving will go away with time, and you will be able to keep your self respect, and you'll be able to raise your baby by showing him or her that respect (self and for your partner) and honesty and fidelity are key to any relationship, and to expect and accept nothing less.

    If you were to put up with this, you will keep hurting, and eventually you'll lose your self respect and grow to hate both of you.

    I'm sorry :-( But you CAN do this!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:37 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • but the big thing is...I just hope he doesn't come back...(he's got 6mths before he needs any contact) but whenever we split in the past he will show up at my door or window lol and try to sweet talk me into it...I just want to be strong...theres no reason he couldn't show me unless he was hiding.
    mommy2be402

    Answer by mommy2be402 at 8:25 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL!!!!!!!! Be strong, stick by your baby. You and your child is all that matters. Once your baby is here you will see what I mean. You don't NEED a man especially one who misstreats you. Concentrate on your baby and yourself, then add a man who is a MAN, not a pig.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:23 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I went through bad arguments...and alot of horrible stresses when I was pregnant and I think I would have been better off leaving. A pregnant woman does not need all of the stress and tears. Being pregnant, particularly with the first should be the happiest time in your life. It hurts because now you're alone with a baby in you and you feel vulnerable. You feel like you've lost the other half that created this blessing with you, but you know what..in the long run...even though it's hard to see through the hurt now...you and that baby will be a lot better off. When you feel like you need to call him, get on here instead, or find something else to do. Stock up on some chocolate!!
    oogiesmommy

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 1:50 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

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