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Once men cross the line of name calling in relationships, can they go back? Do men change?

My husband onetime used the word "b^tch" on me, He thought I was gonna leave him, I almost did. But didn't. Well a few months later he said that & added C*nt. it hurts.

Well lately, the name calling in in EVERY arugment, I mean he explodes like a girl on a very hormonal period,. I can point out I'm insecure about something & he's yelling ""you f*cking C*nt you think I'm a pos, a shit headm u r mocking me, F YOU" gets litereally raging...We were texting & aruging & he called me those things because I said "Lol it's funny you're freaking out to do something you already agreed to do, but now that I ask you, you're accusing me of being demanding and controlling"...because of that statement & "lol" he got that somehow he was a POS & every other name. He came back with name callin me & accusations. Its like he's a ticking bomb & I don't know what to do. I'm pregnant & vulnerable, perhaps needy, but still dnt use names or insults

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • I think I'd freak out on you too if you laughed at me for getting mad at you. It's just a word. Put on your big girl underwear and move on.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 11:02 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • No, that's not nice at all. He shouldn't want to hurt you like that. Me and my husband went through a stage in the beginning and pointed out not so flattering features about each other and some name calling. We can laugh about it now, but honestly, it still hurts and I'm a little self conscious about those features now. I wouldn't put up with it, especially because it seems like he made a habit out of it and now he knows he can get away with it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • The first argument my husband and I got in after we were married, he called me a bitch. I told him right then, if he could not argue like an adult with out resorting to name calling, this marriage wasn't going to work. He has never called me another name, well to my face anyway. My reasoning is that my father was verbally and physically abusive towards my mother, and I was not going to EVER allow either of those things in any relationship of mine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • SaraP you must be answering to someone else. She just said the worst she said was "lol" and THEN he freaks out on her. Saying LOL DOES NOT deserve to be a bitch, cunt etc. thats just WRONG!!! LEAVE THIS POS!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I feel sorry for SaraP if she thinks this a "normal" in a relationship and part of life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • I'm anon :06. I just read your entire question again. You are pregnant and he talks to you like this? Wow, I would NEVER allow that in front of my children. You need to do some soul searching, he sounds like a piece of garbage. Either you all need some counseling or you need to leave. As a child growing up, seeing this stuff happen to my own affected me in ways that i can't even remotely explain here. I still have issues because of it. That is a form of abuse. Get out before things get worse.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • No its not just a word, its disrespectful. He is your husband and you are his pregnant wife! He should be more willing and more patient with you. My husband called me a B***h once, never again. If he wants to stop he can. Apparently like sara, he believes its just a word. My question is how would he feel some man calling his daughter such names? You need to tell him to ship up or ship out. No reason to bring a child into that mess.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • It's funny how when people have no other defense on cafemom, they jump on you for posting anon. LOL, I'm not hiding behind anything. i just don't care to have a stalker.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • if he didnt mean it, he'd quit saying it. the fact this is more than a one time thing, yea i'd say that makes it a lil bit of a bigger deal

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

  • "Funny you're freaking out" meaning "funny you're calling me names for asking you to do something you already said you'd do"...make sense? AND NO I DO NOT ALLOW my girls to call me names and none of my gril friends ever have!! we wouldn't be friends if they treated me that way!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Feb. 25, 2010

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