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Family meeting need advice: (moms ready to pack her bags)

OK, I will try to keep it short. My kids are completely out of control, and not doing what they suppose to do. I feel guilty because I don't even want to be here.
My husband (who does not want outside help, or feels you should not depend on anyone) is strict, sometimes says things too harsh and not very sensitive.
I was a push over, too nice, always feeling guilty (I am working on it now)
I asked for a family meeting-tomorrow I asked him to communicate with me, he says my way does not work. I want to do this as a team it has been 8 years and I am so tired of it-him not communicating-it is always about him. I told him-it is about the kids, and we need to set rules and boundries.
I really want to leave him, but I don't know what to do?? He does not want to socialize, he don't want to do much with the kids-besides go out to eat or to the movies (He has a bad back) . I am tired.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Feb. 25, 2010 in About CafeMom

This question is closed.
Answers (2)
  • I would suggest that you make a list of the positive things that are working and some areas that need attention, so that you don't miss anything that's important to you. I like that you want to work as a "team". Try to use I statements ("I feel ____ when you _____ because___", ie: I feel angry when you don't do the dishes because it means that I have more chores. ) Also, if you can frame things from a "we" perspective it won't come across as attacking/blaming and you are less likely to make him defensive and therefore more likely to reach a solution. I would also suggest that you think about what "HAS TO" change, what you "WANT TO CHANGE" and what you can "LIVE WITH" as is.

    GL!
    terpmama

    Answer by terpmama at 12:14 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Well, it sounds like you aren't very happy where you are and the kids are probably feeding off of that to some extent. Also, they can probably sense the differences in discipline/parenting styles between you and DH and are probably using that against you. You and DH definately need to figure something out. If you can't make it work and your really think that it would be in the best interest of the kids, I wouuld leave. But make sure you really reallly think about it.

    Good luck. this sounds rough.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:02 AM on Feb. 26, 2010