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Cheated on?

My DH just announced in a drunken stupor, about a week ago, that he did indeed have an affair. (I had a notion for years, he gave me an STD but blamed it on a woman he was with before me) In fact, the strangest part was that it was with his aunt whom had molested him since he was 12. This has been the hardest week of my life. He has been very flirty and deceitful in the past, but knowing that he was going back to his molester, getting an STD all while I was preggo with our first son 10 yrs ago, has me boggled beyond belief. I know molestation is nothing to take lightly. Now sober he refuses to talk about it, he says non-chalantly that it doesnt count as cheating and will not talk about it further although he went back to sleep with her multiple times after our son was born, again 10 yrs ago. I now know why he is such a disturbed man, but I don't know what do to with this confusion of emotions, esp when he will not seek help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Feb. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Wow, honey, I've been cheated on and stayed, but never dealt with something like that. I'm sorry you're going thro this. I hope you find a way through this!!

    Answer by Jeda624 at 12:35 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Thank you, this is the strangest thing I have endured. I'm extremely confused and don't know where to begin with my hearts path. I hurt for his molestation, but I wish with all my being that I and my unborn son were not involved at the time. I have so many "Gee, now I see why he does this or that..." thoughts. I'm dizzy with so many emotions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • feel sorry for you, keep on being good to yourself and pray for him and for God's guidance.

    Answer by mommymadness30 at 12:39 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • thank you, I will.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Even if he won't seek help maybe you should... It may be very beneficial for you too seek out counseling to sort through these emotions and the confusion you are feeling. And probably anger and distress. And then figure out where to go from there, how to forgive how to move forward.

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 12:43 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Here you go sweetie


    Answer by mommymadness30 at 12:44 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Uhm... She didn't "molest" him if he kept going back.

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 1:34 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I know what you mean, thats what I asked him. I said why did you keep going back there? He said it was a sick kind of thing where he thought he was in love with her when he was younger and it grew as time went on. He never allowed me to go over there when we lived near her, and I always wondered why. He said she threatened to tell me that they were doing it if it stopped. I want to kill her. (no, i am not going to murder someone) She is/was a cocaine addict, and began the molestation when he was visiting her at 12. I don't know what to say about it, Im just at a loss with all this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • divorce him, you deserve better he could inbreed with her or on of his other family members?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • he may go after a niece!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

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