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Does anyone have advice about boyfriends picking up new hobbies that don't include you after dating for 4 years.

So this last year my fiance bought a hand gun to go along with his hunting gun. He said it was for the house, for protection. He goes to his mothers to shoot it on occasion. Then this guy at work got him into this online poker starz game playing poker and yes somtimes he gambles money from his account small amounts. Hes on the computer enough as it is for school and now this. Every time we argue that were he goes the computer. I personally think hes confused and doesn't know what he wants. He tells me I should find a hobby outside of the house. I feel like were growing apart. Help any advice besides the obvious, get out of the house and away and have fun.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Feb. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Don't worry - this is totally normal! You've been together for four years, and during the first chunk of a good relationship, you want to be together all the time and do everything together. As time goes on, you still love your SO, but you start to remember that you're still your own person, and not just part of a team. I think it's good for couples to have separate interests that don't involve your partner. Even though you will always be growing and learning as a couple, it's also important to grow and learn on your own, and understand who you are as an individual.
    My husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years, and throughout the past year or so, we've definitely branched off into different interests. He's taken up martial arts and gotten back into music, and he's re-discovered video games (which I'm really not so thrilled about - lol!) I've gotten more into art and crafting, and started learning to cook.
    StellarJKD

    Answer by StellarJKD at 1:20 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • That's not right, he's neglecting you, technically neglect is a form of emotional abuse...you feel ignored, your needs are going unmet and he isn't showing any sign of caring about them, he just continues on in his self absorbed endevours, it's getting worse instead of better, you feel hurt and he doesn't do a damn thing to make it better?..I'm just sayin...my bf and I do things together, we golf, we bowl, we go for walks, we go play pool, see art galleries and just all sorts of things, you need to find things to do together to strengthen and nurture your relationship..and if he isn't interested in doing that then he isn't interested in YOU, and you need to walk...find someone who will care about you, TRULY care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Man u can have the prob. that i have my old man is so far up my but i cant get him out...errr...no let him be so u can have ur u time he knows u need ur space.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • That's not good. You two should fine a hobby to do together and then maybe you do something with friends. Get some friends together or something. Or get into a local group.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:35 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

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