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my boyfriend has a child whom he hasn't seen in five years. We have tried to call the baby-mom, but she hates him and her mother has a strong influence with local police and judges. He was put in jail for two days when we called to invite his son to a summer birthday party. My question is....should my boyfriend try to visit his son at the public school?

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Semesweet

Asked by Semesweet at 12:47 AM on Feb. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • oh hell no! that will put your bf in jail for a lot longer. he needs to do things legally. If he wants to be part of his childs life then every penny is worth it and if he cant afford it then take out a loan because if he loves that child enough he will do anything possible to get in his life.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:56 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • You need to pray sweetie, we do not have the answers my advice is n, red flaggs will go up


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmd-2d2IEts&feature=related

    mommymadness30

    Answer by mommymadness30 at 12:57 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I worked in family law so I know about this sorta stuff.....and he cant be put in jail for making a phone call...so whats the real reason he was jailed? Why hasnt he seen his child? Is there a custody agreement?
    But to answer your question...no he shouldnt go and see the child...it will cause chaos for they both of you! Go through the legal system....if there is a custody agreement ask to see the agreement....if he has standard visitation its his weekend this weekend so the baby mama cant do a damn thing...if she tries...call the police but have the agreement with you to show the police.
    Boog723

    Answer by Boog723 at 12:59 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • No! If the wrong person saw this happen, I could see them interpreting it wrong and claiming he was trying to kidnap his kid. What Boog723 (above my answer) said about the custody agreement is probably the best thing to do.
    StellarJKD

    Answer by StellarJKD at 1:08 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I would NOT go to the school - that's going to cause a whole lot more problems and they are NOT going to let him see his child there, but they WILL call the cops. I'm NOT saying he would do this, but there are a lot of instances of parental kidnapping, etc, that they are not going to let him visit there.

    You really need to stop trying to deal with this yourselves and contact a lawyer. If money is an issue, do a search for free legal aide in your state, or for free family law help. There are a lot of lawyers out there that will help you be able to get visitation put in place. Without that, there isn't going to be anything you can do, and if you keep trying it's just going to make it worse and harder. Like the pp's said though, once you get a visitation order / custody set up legally and in writing - she will NOT be able to stop him from visiting.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:13 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I think there's probably a lot that you bf is not telling you, he's probably a loser, you should find someone else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I don't see how he was put in jail for 2 days just for calling. Something isn't right there. Have him petition the family courts.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • No, he should not go there. And, I also think you should consider finding a new boyfriend.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:00 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Going to the school is a very bad idea. Your boyfriend can't be put in jail for calling his son unless there is a court order against him having contact. Maybe there is more to the story than you know. If this really happened and your boyfriend's rights haven't been taken away or limited, then he needs to get an attorney to get things straightened out. If there are standing orders against him, then he will need an attorney to get his rights back. Either way, he should not go to the school, and he should seek legal counsel. As others have mentioned, you should be really careful with this boyfriend, because usually where you fiund smoke there is also fire. If he isn't fessing up to having legal actions against him, then you should be worried.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • No, he should not do that. The bigger question is why does the mother not want him around? Sounds like there is more to the story.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

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