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Weird around FIL

I'm not even sure where to start but to say I get a strange feeling around my FIL. Well not really sure what to call him. It's not my DH's dad its his stepdad. I just don't feel comfortable around him. I can't put my finger on as to of why, I just don't. Right now we are living with my MIL and him, and they keep all the grandkids every weekend, and I just find it odd, how much attention the girls get. They have 6 grandkids. 3 boys, 3 girls. And it never fails that when he talks about the kids, its "i miss my girls" or "i didn't get to spend alot of time with my girls". Just strange to me. And when my nieces are here, i feel they are runnin around naked to much. During a diaper change, after a bath. I may just be paranoid, but the last time I ignored a feeling like this, it turned out the asshole was molesting my cousins. I have a daughter, shes 7 months old now. And I don't feel comfortable leaving her here. I won't. cont'd

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Feb. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • And right now, since we live here I really don't have to worry about it. I've already told my husband how i feel. He doesn't say much. He agrees some things are off. I told him we can visit whenever once we move, but they will not spend the night. But I know when we do they are going to be asking for them on the weekends, and I don't know how to avoid it. But I can't leave them, with this feeling. IF something did happen, I'd NEVER forgive myself.
    They use to have custody of their middle grand-daughter. One visit to the dr., IDK if it just wasn't enough to go off of or wat but the dr said something about it seeming as if someone was abusing her. Well at first everyone was worried it may have been her dad, that no one seems to care for. But being here. and seeing her dad more, yea i may not like the guy and think he's a complete idiot when it comes to relationships and parenting, but I don't think he would hurt her. No one ev
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I would talk to the oldest of the girls if she is of an age that she can have a conversation. Don't say anything about how you feel but just ask what her and her grandpa(or whatever they call him) do together. Ask if she likes him, if they have fun, do they ever fight, what does he do with the other girls, does he spend time with the boys, etc. All the questions that wouldn't make her feel uncomfortable or scared but may give you an idea of what is going on.

    Also if you live there you can buy a nanny cam (they are so discreet he would never see it). Leave it on when all the girls are over, maybe in a room they spend a lot of time in. (Not the bathroom though, it's illegal)

    I hope some of this helps. My nephew who is 7 was molested by a girl just older than him a few years ago. He was also hit by his step mom (when he was 6) a few times which we found out from asking questions similar to those I listed above.

    Good luck!
    imamommmmyyy

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 1:00 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Well, if he molested your cousins, I'd be worried about your nieces too!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • He didn't, that was another guy, my cousin finally spoke up and he's in jail thank god
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • So don't leave your kids there!
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 1:31 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • and say wat to my MIL....i dont trust your husband, that'll go over well...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • trust your insticts that is why God gave them to you just say your kids will not leave you ect., mommies boy/girl and watch him closely, talk to the kids too.
    mommymadness30

    Answer by mommymadness30 at 3:56 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Trust your instincts and don't convince yourself to leave your kids there for the sake of your MIL's feelings. I don't leave my daughter with anyone for the weekend and its not because I suspect molestation, I just don't. So, just let it be a matter of course that you don't send your kid off over the weekend (overnight). Tell them your just a worrier or you can't get to sleep if your kid isn't in the house with you, that dd is too attached to be away overnight, or needs you to do xy to get her to sleep, whatever. I also agree with the other posters that you should try to find out with leading questions from the girls and consider getting a nanny cam.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 5:41 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

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