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How to punish a 14 year old part 2? what if you punish them and>>>>

I have punished before for the person who asked.
What if you tell them come home from school and they don't.
What if they scream and yell like a baby.
What if I have called the cops.
How can I have fun with her if she don't do anything she is suppose to do, and she is trying to make me feel guilty.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Feb. 26, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Sorry mom, but it is time to grow a pair! You are the mother not her. You need to expect she is going to rant and cry and bitch an moan about you coming down hard on her. That is what you have to figure out how to handle. If you have to call the cops for her behavior, then do it, she needs to know you mean business.
    Now is not the time to worry about being her friend and having fun with her. Now is the time to make her realize she needs to get her crap together and start acting like a grown up and not a spoiled little brat.

    Answer by MillyPontipee at 2:29 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • What if you tell them to come home from school and they don't? Then you need to start picking her up.
    What if they scream and yell like a baby? Then you treat them like the baby they are acting like - go buy a couple of jars of baby food and a bib and present her dinner that way to her. Along with a sippy cup of juice cut with water.
    What if you have to call the cops? You should only call the cops if you fear for your live or the lives of your other family members.

    As was stated in the other post.....Take EVERYTHING away from her. Strip her room down to an alarm clock, clothes, and bed. Password protect your computer and IF she needs to go onto the computer for school work - it is to be in a family room with you checking periodically on her (not hovering).

    Emphasize that with immature actions come immature treatment and with mature actions come mature treatment.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:15 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • cont.
    Talk with her teachers about getting atleast weekly emails with her progress, if not daily. Talk to the guidance couselor at the school and see if they can recommend anything for your child, you, everything. This is exactly what they are trained to do.

    How can you have fun with her when she won't do anything? Well, for one, the first time that she does something that you asked without complaining or does something that is good - LET HER KNOW. Sometimes we parents of teenagers get all wrapped up in what they aren't doing and the teen attitude that we forget that they are still looking for parental praise when it is warranted.

    She's trying to make you feel guilty - OF COURSE - she's a teenager and they blame us for EVERYTHING!!! Grow a pair and get over that one. It will make everything so much easier. Your daughter says its all your fault, turn the tables on her and say "Yes, it is - so what of it?"

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:20 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I have to agree with twinsmoms, I have had times when I felt bad about taking my dd things or privilages away, but it is true you have to get over it. When things calm down take some time to talk to her about what you expect of her. School is her job and if she isn't doing her job she losses things, she gets them back when she does better. This is the age to get her to understand that she will need you on her side soon. I always tell my kids that if they are honest and fair with me I'll be honest and fair with them. Sure they don't want to tell me some things, I am their mom, but there are times when I am the one person the have to come to. Things will just get harder as she gets older. I know it sounds easier than it is,but it had to be done. When I sat down calmly and talked to my 16 yo dd and told her this is how it will be, things changed. It is not easy, and sometimes we still yell, but it is better.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 9:33 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • This sounds like a family issue, not a chld issue. I strongly recommend family counseling; clearly you all need to learn how best to communicate with each other.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:17 AM on Feb. 27, 2010