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How open are you with your friends?

My husband and I are friends with a few couples, and when we get together, it seems like the women just trash talk their husbands. It's all innocent girl talk like "he never takes the trash out on the right day, you would think after 12 years..." but it kind of makes me uncomfortable because I'm friends with their husbands too, and whatever they say it inevitably gets around to everyone in our jeep 4x4 club and makes their husbands look like idiots. I always join in in the conversation but i don't like sharing anything that makes my DH look bad really because I don't want anyone to think i married an idiot. Do you tell you friends things that make your husband look bad?

 
Christina2135

Asked by Christina2135 at 9:02 AM on Feb. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (166 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • No, I don't. What you could do is every time one of your friends trash talks her husband, you could say something positive about yours. That will do two things: one, it will give honor to your husband and if he hears you, it will be a tremendous affirmation to him. And two, it just may, if repeated often enough, cause your friends to stop and think about what they are doing. I don't think it would even be out of line for you to say to them that you don't make those kinds of statements about your husband and that their doing so makes you uncomfortable. You are simply stating the truth, and that just might help them realize that what they are doing is just not right.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:10 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • In our early years yes but then like you I noticed this too so I pretty much just keep to myself or don't say much about our lives...I just let them talk and hope they can make it through it and maybe give some kind of advice if they ask. The best thing to do I guess is just watch and listen.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • All of my friends KNOW that my husband is an idiot, I don't have to say a word.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • just my grandma and she tries to be the mediator (sp?) and i sometimes tell my MIL but of course she takes his side...so i don't like telling her.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:30 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I always think of the line in American Beauty when she says "To be successful you must project an image of success". I take that line to heart regarding my marriage. I never bad-mouth him on-line or in person. I do have one single friend who I may gripe to about his video game habit but other than that I keep my mouth shut.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:04 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I'm an open book. Sometimes I'm a book without a cover. I as well have no issues with pointing out peoples flaws, as I am very much a straight foward person. Even with that though, I still only tell my close friends and family. If I were apart of a club I wouldn't share to dirty details if I weren't already close friends with them. I understand that women gossip about their husbands, but I still wouldn't be like "Yea, my husband is such a slob." And so on. I would say positive things about him. I don't need my dirty laundry hanging out over the town, just in the yards of those I trust. Ha!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:07 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I am a personally person and whatever issue my hubby and I have stays between us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • The only person I talk to about my husband being an idiot is my SIL, and that's only because she married my husband's brother. They are 13 months apart and are SO much alike it's ridiculous. When my husband and BIL get together they're worse then kids and resort back to behavior they used when they were like 8. SIL and I REFUSE to go shopping with the both of them. What we discuss stays between us. Other then what we discuss I don't have any complaints about my husband. As far as our friends, I don't tell them anything. We are actually the role model couple and family for our friends, and it kind of bothers me. When we get together I just sit back and listen, commenting on very little. Majority of them don't trust their husbands, always accuse them of things, and fight constantly. In 10 years, DH and I have only had ONE fight, and that's because I ran over the lawn mower with my car and lied about it.
    momtotrips

    Answer by momtotrips at 11:06 AM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I wonder how they would feel if their husbands did that to them behide their back. I believe that the more you hold your marriage up the higher it stands. I love my husband and he is not perfect but I don't talk bad behind his back. It would only hurt him and hurt our marriage. I agree with saying good things about your husband and see if they get the picture.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 12:00 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • My friends know my issues with my husband because they can see them too, everyone can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

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