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How do you say NO to extra siblings at birthday parties?

So my dd is having a party at a bounce house soon. We invited the whole class, plus some cousins, and some church friends. We can have up to 25 kids and it's a private party. So one mom called and said yes her dd can come. Then emailed and asked if she can bring her older 2 dd. She said she'd pay for them and they wouldn't be part of the party, but I don't even know if we can go over 25 kids and what they would charge, and I'm sure they would just add it onto my bill, and it would be awkward to ask her for the $.
I think she's going through a separation or divorce, the dad can't watch them that day, and I really would have no problem with her bringing these 2...if all 25 invited kids don't go, it wouldn't even cost anything extra, but I'm sure if word gets out that she is, other parents will think their other kids can come, or if the other parents get there and see those girls they will just let their other kids stay, too.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Feb. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Call the place and see how they would handle it instead of speculating. You are right that they may not legally be allowed to have more then 25. If that is the case then simply tell the mom no and why. If you just don't want the others there then tell her the place says only 25 are legally allowed and yes you are lying but it saves hurt feelings. The bounce place near us is open to the public even with parties there. The parties get a separate room to have cake and pizza and open presents etc and that is limited to a certain number of kids, but the bounce are is open to the public as well as the party. That may well be the situation here and then it would be no problem as long as you make it clear her other kids are not to be eating the cake and pizza etc.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 1:55 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • We have attended and hosted several parties at our local Bounce House (BounceU), and while 25 children is the typical maximum, they will allow more as long as there is a parent who stays with and supervises the younger siblings. They do not charge extra, but when I have brought my younger son to my older son's party, I have always given a bigger gift (usually gift card to the host child's favorite store) to make up for having two children attend.

    Just call the center and ask them. If it's okay, then invite them--you may end up having no shows who RSVPed, so you'll likely have the extra spaces.

    In the future I would keep the guest list limited to however old the child will be--If the child is turning 5, then they can invote 5 friends, if turning 8 they can invite 8 friends, etc., instead of inviting the whole class! Then you can accommodate siblings and such.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 2:14 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Tell her the max is 25 kids weather it is or not. You can't please everyone and if she cant get a sitter for the other kids, mybe she should skip the party and send a gift.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • oops Whether* (anon here)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I find it rude for a parent to ask if she can bring her OTHER children. They WERE NOT invited. You shouldn't have to accommodate any siblings, only the kids you INVITE.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • OP here

    Thanks for the answers. To the first person, it's not open to the public for open bounce during our party. I specifically picked a time it wouldn't be, as the kids are mostly 5, and I didn't want them knocked around by older kids. It actually opens for open bounce at the time we will be going into the party room for cake,pizza, etc. I do know that they have way more than 25 during open bounce times. I plan on calling them tomorrow, so I can get back to that mom and let her know either way.

    LoriKeet: that's a nice idea of limiting the guest list.....but I wouldn't limit it just so we can have uninvited siblings...I'd rather let my son have more of his friends there than kids we don't want or even know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • OP again: dd, that is...son's party is next month...hopefully we don't have to deal with this again! lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • tell her 25 is the max. Your not responsible to watch kids that are not your son's friends. If she has a problem with it oh well. IT's rude to invite others along.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:58 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

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