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Should I be worried?

Me and DH have been together for 3 years and will be married 3 years in June. I have caught him different times looking up porn. I hate porn but it's not just porn its teen porn and cartoon porn. Should I be worried? It is tearing us apart.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Feb. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I'd be disgusted but if it makes you feel better I caught my hubby looking up "tranny" porn. How would you feel about that!? lol
    Anyways, I told him it hurt my feelings and he hasn't looked at porn, at least that I know of, since.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • ...I would be worried about the teen porn. I was molested as a child/teen so that would freak me out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I wouldn't be worried about porn itself but if it's tearing you apart you two need to work something out that works for both of you. He isn't going to give up porn so maybe you can compromise somehow, like he only watches it with you. Since you hate it, he won't feel comfortable doing that and might set it aside. Communication is the key.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:00 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Get counseling for yourself for help in exact words to use in a later session that he'll join you in. It might still not work, he might still look at porn. But you'll know that you didn't just only fight with him about this, you took effort to make it known to him that you want him not him and other women and other men of any age in any media in pictures.

    If he loves you to the depth that he claims he does then he'll at least go with you. If he does and if he agrees to stop and starts up again and upsets you, go to another session pull him in to it after guidance from the counselor. Tell husband what you need in your marriage then what happens happens.

    Prayers for you for strength. I can tell you from experience that porn starts out small and either stays small or grows. Why chance it growing if where it is now is upsetting to you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I have done talked with him about it. He had looked at teen porn before and I left he quit or so I thought. Then we got a place together again and he has done it again he gets mad when I try to talk to him. My step dad molested me when I was 9 and I guess that does have something to do with it I dont trust him and we have a almost 2 year old and a nother baby on the way due in June.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • op I wouldn't negotiate porn with husband if it upsets you. That's telling him that it doesn't really upset him and leaves him open to bring in other ways and views of porn. jmo and jmexperience.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I looked in the history today and most of the sites were to meet women in your area. I dont know what to do?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Ugh, tough situation. I feel for you! I don't know your relationship, so I can't give very good advice. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • See if he will go to counseling with you and bring up the porn issue on the second or third session. Tell him about your experience and that's why it makes you uncomfortable. As for the meeting women in your area, I would bring that up straight away! JMHO

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Thank You all for your help! I will talk to him tonight when he gets home. If he cant quit then he aint staying here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

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